Damaged
by Adia Rose
Summary: A story by Adia Rose and JennyK! Ronnie and Danielle. At the wedding reception the locket went unfound...
1. Chapter 1

**It was supposed to be a proper Walford wedding, a day the square would never forget. Archie and Peggy had walked down the aisle, happily married in front of their neighbours and friends. But events had taken an unexpected turn at the reception when Danielle confronted Ronnie, claiming to be the daughter that she had given up 19 years ago. Danielle tried to prove her claim but the locket went unfound. An angry Ronnie threw Danielle out and turned away from her daughter but what happened the morning after the Mitchell wedding?**

Roxy gently wrapped the duvet around her legs, pushing her head deeper into the pillow as she tried to get comfortable. Roxy could feel the glare of the morning sun through the curtains but she tried to resist moving, choosing to ignore the start of the new day.

Roxy lay in bed, unable to get back to sleep as she tossed and turned. She could hear voices in the hall, footsteps shuffling past her door. Roxy stared up at the ceiling after a restless nights' sleep, trying to go through what had happened last night. Her mind skipped between her sister and her dad, then to Danielle; the young girl that had nearly wrecked the wedding. Roxy hated that she couldn't switch her thoughts off but instead she decided to get up and distract herself.

Roxy wearily stumbled across the hallway. She could hear Peggy and Archie in the kitchen but chose to go to the lounge instead, wanting peace and quiet so she could fall asleep on the sofa in front of the television.

Roxy threw herself onto the soft cushions, resting her head on the arm of the sofa. Her peace was interrupted by the slamming of a door and the sound of footsteps outside The Vic. Roxy grudgingly lifted herself from the sofa and peered out the window, squinting to try and make out the figure on the road below.

Roxy stared closer and noticed the motorbike near the pavement, a small bag strapped to the back of it and then the tall blonde figure throwing the helmet over her head and approaching the bike. Roxy pulled open the window, trying to catch her sister's attention.

"Ron" Roxy bellowed but Ronnie swung her legs over the bike and started the engine, flying off down the street without even a glance back at her frustrated sister, who was now leaning out the window.

"Ronnie!" Roxy screamed again but her sister had driven out of sight leaving a frustrated Roxy at the window. "Will you keep it down; you know what time it is!" Mo barked as she set up the stall on the road below. Roxy looked down at her, she wanted to start an argument but Roxy felt that she didn't have the fight to have a go back at Mo; it was too early in the morning.

Instead Roxy glared at Mo and slammed the window shut. Roxy stood in the lounge confused about her sister's action. She knew that the previous night's events had hurt Ronnie but why did her sister drive off so suddenly, leaving the rest of the Mitchell's to clean up the mess from the wedding.

"You alright love?" Archie said standing in the doorway. Her dad's voice made Roxy jump slightly as Archie caught Roxy when she was deep in thought. "Do you know that Ronnie's just left?" Roxy asked.

"Really" Archie muttered, trying not to sound too pleased with himself. Archie slowly edged forward to his daughter and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in to his chest. "She probably just needs some time to herself after what happened last night. That girl's crazy claims hurt your sister." Archie held on to his daughter tightly, resting his head on top of Roxy's. A small smile etched across his face.

"Rox love can you clean up the glasses from downstairs please, we need to pack them away" Peggy barked from the kitchen. "Can't I have a shower first Aunty Peg?" Roxy moaned as she pulled away from her father's grip.

"You can have a shower later, I need those glasses now" Peggy barked again; clearly not ready to accept any excuses from her niece. "Fine" Roxy shouted back, sarcastically smiling at her father as she left the lounge and went down the stairs. Archie stood alone in the lounge, a smile of satisfaction and victory still etched on his face.

Roxy shuffled unenthusiastically around the Vic, picking up the glasses from the tables as she went and placing them in a box that was resting on the bar. Roxy quickened her pace, nearly throwing the glasses around as she flew round the tables.

But as she reached the top tables Roxy paused, staring at the small name card with Ronnie scrolled across it that sat on the table in front of her. She slowly picked it up and stared at her sister's name, thoughts started to rush through Roxy's brain; flashes of the night before running around in her head.

Roxy couldn't help thinking about Ronnie, where she was and why she left? Roxy hated herself for what she said last night, the heat of the moment getting the better of her once again. She thought of the look in Ronnie's eyes when she slapped her last night.

Roxy remembered it as a look of pain and anger, drained and devoid of any love. All Roxy wanted to do was hold her sister and say how sorry she was for upsetting her but Roxy couldn't get Danielle out of her head either. Danielle had managed to hurt Ronnie, made her loose self control and drop her guard like Roxy had never seen before.

But why had this girl, a stranger, hurt her sister so much. Roxy always thought kindly of Danielle; a sweet girl who adored Amy and was always keen to help. Roxy couldn't help thinking there had to be something more, something more to Danielle than the naive and innocent stallholder that she remembered.

Lost in her thoughts Roxy had lost track of time until she heard the screech of Peggy's voice upstairs as she shouted at Phil. Roxy immediately flew back into action and finished clearing up the glasses.

As Roxy finished she let out a sigh of relief, resting her head against the box. As Roxy leaned on box she felt something slide under her foot, wrapping between her toes. Roxy bent down and picked up a small silver necklace.

Roxy looked closer, rubbing her eyes in tiredness. But her eyes widened as noticed the locket swinging in front of her face. She slowly placed it in the palm of her and undid the clasp, taking a deep breath as she looked inside. Staring back at her was a picture of her sister, a picture of Ronnie from many years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Roxy blinked, checking that the image in front of her was correct, that it was a young Ronnie staring back at her. Roxy snapped the locket shut, holding it in her palm tightly.

Thoughts exploded in her mind as she leaned against the bar. Roxy tried to run through all the explanations for the appearance of her sister's locket but it just didn't make sense to her.

She leaned further back until her elbow caught the side of the box, making the glasses chime as they knocked together. Roxy turned to look at the box of glasses and her mind rushed back to the night before. The events at the wedding seemed a bit of a blur to Roxy, accusations and screams had flown around The Vic, none of which seemed to make any sense. Neither Ronnie nor Archie had explained what had happened, trying to brush the problem under the carpet the minute Danielle was thrown out the door.

Roxy tried to recall what Danielle had screamed then her mind flashed back to when she was frantically looking for something in the glasses; she had said she was Ronnie's daughter! But she must have been lying Roxy thought; she couldn't be Ronnie's daughter, could she?

All the questions overcame Roxy, she propped herself on top of a stall and rested her head against her hand, the locket wrapped between her fingers.

What if she had been telling the truth? The question kept going round and round in Roxy's head. As she started to piece together what Danielle had claimed one man kept jumping into her thoughts, her father.

If Danielle was Ronnie's daughter then he lied, he lied to Ronnie that her daughter was dead; the thought made Roxy feel sick.

Could Archie be the monster Ronnie always claimed he was? Roxy couldn't help but think about the loving and kind Archie, who had held her hand on her first day of school, put a smile on her face when she felt down and wiped away her tears.

But a new image of Archie started to develop in her head. She started to piece together an image of Archie that Ronnie always claimed he was; cold, manipulative, evil.... She tried to fight this image as it formed in her mind, trying to remember him as the man she always thought he was.

"How you getting on love?" a voice said, making Roxy jump as she was deep in thought. "Fine thanks" Roxy replied to her father who was stood in front of her smiling kindly. She quickly wiped her hand behind her back, sliding it and the locket into her jean's pocket so it was out of sight. Roxy couldn't help but look at him in a different way, trying to notice the imperfections that Ronnie always claimed.

"Come and give your old dad a hug" Archie said warmly, opening his arms out to Roxy. But she didn't move, her eyes fixed on his. Roxy noticed the confused look in his eyes but the awkward situation was suddenly interrupted with the sound of Amy crying from upstairs.

Archie pulled his arms back as he heard his grand-daughter crying, noticing how tense Roxy was. "I'll go check on her" Archie said, turning away from Roxy.

"No!" Roxy screamed, not realising how loud and blunt her voice had sounded before it was too late. "I'll go" Roxy stated firmly, hurrying past Archie and leaving him perplexed at her attitude.

Roxy strolled round the square, pushing Amy's buggy in front of her. She had gone to check on her daughter and decided they both needed some fresh air and time away from The Vic.

Roxy parked Amy's buggy next to Arthur's bench and slowly sat down. She looked at her beautiful daughter, whose eyes were beaming back up at her.

Roxy couldn't help but study Amy's features; her button nose and gentle smile. Did she look anything like Danielle? Roxy wondered. She tried to picture Danielle in her head but found it hard because she had never taken much notice of her before, only paying the girl any attention when she needed someone to babysit Amy.

Roxy's thoughts were interrupted when she heard the slamming of a door in the distance. She looked away from her daughter and towards the Slater's, watching as Mo and Charlie left and walked across the square.

Roxy wondered if Danielle was in, sitting right across the Square. Roxy needed to find out the truth, knowing that she couldn't deal with all the questions running around in her head, she needed answers.

Roxy stood up and grabbed the handles of Amy's buggy, pushing her frantically across the square until she reached the Slater's front door.

"Ok, ok, I'm coming!" She heard Stacey yelled as she slammed her fist against the door. "What do you want?" Stacey barked as she opened the door to see Roxy and Amy in front of her.

"Is Danielle in?" Roxy asked, a note of desperation in her voice.

"No" Stacey answered bluntly. "Why do you want to see her anyway?" she asked aggressively.

"I just need to talk to her Stace. It's urgent" Roxy pleaded, trying to convince Stacey with a forced and unconvincing smile.

"Like I said, she's not here" Stacey replied. "Well I'll wait then" Roxy demanded, attempting to push Amy's buggy through the doorway and past Stacey.

"Oi, what are you doing?!" Stacey shouted, standing in the way of Roxy's path.

"I said I need to talk to Danielle!" Roxy repeated.

"Well you will have a long wait" Stacey barked, smiling slightly that she had the upper hand on Roxy. "She's gone" Stacey finished.


	3. Chapter 3

"Gone, gone where?" Roxy asked. "I don't know, I was upstairs and came back down as she was gone. And even if I did know why would I tell you? You're family are the one that caused all this trouble in the first place!" Stacey shouted defensively, pointing her finger at Roxy.

"What trouble?" Roxy asked confused, leaning forward to probe Stacey. "You know what, you lot all accused her of lying!" Stacey screamed as her frustration grew. "What and you think she was telling the truth?" Roxy screamed back.  
"I know she was telling the truth because she told me, she told me months ago!" Stacey barked back, annoyed that she was again getting involved in a Mitchell family drama. Stacey expected Roxy to explode back but she watched as the colour started to drain from Roxy's face.

"She told you?" Roxy asked timidly, her voice stuttering. "She told me that she was adopted and she came here looking for her birth mum, she came here looking for Ronnie" Stacey said slowly, trying to make Roxy see sense.  
"This is mad" Roxy said, shaking her head. "Why didn't she tell Ronnie?" Roxy asked, determined to get more information from Stacey. "I don't know, you need to ask Danielle that don't you!" Stacey barked back. "How can I, I have no idea where she is" Roxy screamed, throwing her hands towards Stacey as she became more frustrated and angry.

"Well that's not my problem is it?" Stacey replied sarcastically. "This is your problem; your family drove her away. She is better off away from you lot anyway!" Stacey finished, slamming the door in Roxy's face before she had time to react.

"Stace, Stacey!" Roxy screamed as she slammed her fists against the door in frustration. As Roxy continued to hit the door Amy started to wake, crying loudly. "Sssh, I'm sorry baby" Roxy whispered gently, bending down to comfort her daughter.

Roxy looked back at the Slater's door before heading back across the Square; if Stacey wasn't going to answer her questions she knew who could.

Roxy's heart raced as she strode across the square, ignoring the calls of her neighbours as her eyes were fixed on the top window in The Vic. She marched through the back door and the cellar before reaching the bottom of the stairs,  
taking Amy out of her buggy before heading up the stairs.

She could hear a movement from the kitchen but she headed straight for the bedroom, not wanting to be holding her daughter for when she confronted her father. She carefully placed her daughter into her crib, kissing her forehead gently as she admired Amy as she wriggled around amongst her blankets. She quietly shut the door, taking a deep breath before she headed to the kitchen.

"Dad" Roxy said as she cautiously popped her head round the kitchen door. Roxy was dreading what he was going to say and how he would explain this mess but at the same time she was angry, if Danielle was telling the truth then Roxy needed to know why her father was such a monster.

"No it's just me love" she heard Peggy say as she looked on disappointedly as Peggy busied herself around the dishes, walking between the sink and the cupboard as she tidied up. "Where is he?" Roxy asked sharply.

"Is something the wrong dear?" Peggy asked, slightly surprised by Roxy's stern question. "You could say that yes!" Roxy barked as she hurried round the hall, poking her head in and out of the rooms to check her father wasn't around.  
"What has he done?" Peggy asked as she put down a mug on the sideboard, turning to face Roxy ready to listen. "I need to speak to him" Roxy said bluntly, fidgeting on the spot as she spoke to her aunt.

"Well you can speak to me, I'm his wife remember. We share everything." Peggy said proudly, smiling at Roxy to try and ease the tension. Roxy's head shot up and her eyes fixed on Peggy's. Did she know? Roxy's mind raced as she stared at Peggy. "Did you know?" Roxy screamed, walking further into the kitchen and closing the door so that Amy wouldn't be bothered by the raised voices.

"Know what?" Peggy asked, confused as to why Roxy was becoming so animated. "Did you know that Danielle was telling the truth? Did you know she was Ronnie's daughter!?" Roxy screamed, staring in the eyes of Peggy, watching as her aunt's face fall.

"What are you talking about?" Peggy said, trying to stay calm whilst defending herself from Roxy's accusation. "It was true, it was all true" Roxy screamed back.

"But your father, he said she was lying" Peggy replied, unable to understand or accept what Roxy was saying. "Well he is lying. He is the one who has manipulated everyone, including you" Roxy said, pointing at Peggy more aggressively than she wanted to, making Peggy step back in shock.

"This is ridiculous. Why are you trying to cause trouble? Archie has just sorted everything out with Ronnie and now this" Peggy said disbelieving, leaning back on the kitchen cupboards. "I'm not trying to cause trouble! It's true, look" Roxy said, pulling out the locket from her back pocket, dangling it in front of Peggy's eyes. "It's Ronnie's locket. I found it downstairs. It was the one that Danielle was looking for in the glasses at the wedding." Peggy looked closer at the necklace as Roxy dropped into her palm, opening the clasp to see a picture of Ronnie.

Peggy slowly looked up at Roxy as the facts started to fall into place, the truth unravelling in her head. Peggy felt sick as she realised that Archie had been lying all along, manipulating her. All the fears and concerns about Archie that she had before the wedding resurfaced as she started to realise who the man she had married really was.

Peggy and Roxy's exchange was suddenly interrupted as Archie walked unnoticed up the stairs, opening the door to find Roxy and Peggy deep in conversation. Archie's smile soon faded as he saw Roxy and Peggy's eyes fix on him angrily.


	4. Chapter 4

Roxy awoke and her head pounded. The sky outside the window was still in darkness, meager beams of light from the streetlamps below were all there was to illuminate the room. She groaned and rolled over, the day had been chaotic, she didn't want to wake up and have to face the aftermath. As soon as Archie had walked in it had all come out. Roxy had told him that she knew, knew the truth about Danielle, knew about his lies, the way he had treated Ronnie. She'd even challenged him about what Danielle had said about Suzy.

Archie had denied it all of course but the proof was there, it had been too late for his lies. In the end Peggy had thrown him out of the pub. When he had refused Phil had made threats, awful threats and physically thrown him onto the street. It had been an awful day. Roxy had lost her father, realised everything had been a lie. But not only that, she now had to accept the fact that Danielle had been right, she was Ronnie's daughter, her niece. And Ronnie didn't even know.

Roxy's brain was working overtime as she went over the events of the day before. She angrily rolled over again and huffed at her over active brain. She knew Ronnie would have a smart remark to make about her brain working…or her being over active. Either were fair game for Ronnie. Roxy fell asleep thinking about her sister and her niece.

Several hours later Roxy was woken again, this time light was flooding the room. It didn't take long for Roxy to realize the noise that had woken her, Amy was crying from her room, the noise blaring out from the baby monitor. She reluctantly rolled herself out of bed and shuffled to her daughter's bedroom.

As Roxy changed and fed Amy she couldn't get thoughts of Danielle out of her head. She was Ronnie's daughter. Ronnie had missed out on all of the things that she was doing right now. And she had known Danielle for months and had still missed out on knowing her. Ronnie still thought that her baby was dead. Roxy was torn. She considered calling Ronnie straight away and letting her know the truth but after what had happened at the reception there was no guarantee that Danielle would even want to know her. Roxy couldn't get Ronnie's hopes up just to have them shot down once again.

By lunch Roxy had come to a decision. She hadn't thought about anything but Ronnie and Danielle all day. She decided that she had to speak to Danielle. After all Danielle was her niece, a smile came to Roxy's face at the thought of it. She had a niece, a nineteen year old niece. She would talk to Danielle and then call Ronnie. Roxy was determined. She would sort everything out, make up for the years that she had trusted her father over her sister. Make up for all the loss Ronnie had suffered.

It was early afternoon when Roxy left the Vic. She pulled her long cardigan tighter around herself and looked down to Amy in her pram to check if she was warm enough but she was lying happily, bundled up in her snowsuit. Roxy grasped the handles of the pram and made her way across the Square to the Slaters' house. Reaching the door she knocked awkwardly knowing that this could go either way, her fight with Stacey yesterday wasn't going to make today easier.

"Yeah?" Stacey opened the door and leaned to one side in a casually derogative manner.

"Stacey could we talk? Before you say anything yes I know about Danielle and I just want to fix things. I'm not here to fight," Roxy said, trying to cut out any of Stacey's vicious remarks before she made them.

"Fine, whatever," Stacey replied as she stepped to the side to allow Roxy to push the pram through the door. They settled in the kitchen and were soon sat with a cup of tea in front of each of them, Amy perched on Roxy's knee. They began to talk about Danielle, Stacey had no idea where she had gone, the only place she could think of was back home to Telford.

"She loves Ronnie. Or she did anyway. I kept telling her there's no use wanting anything from that frosty cow but she wouldn't listen." Stacey said casually. Roxy's eyes narrowed as Stacey spoke about Ronnie like that but she said nothing, instead keeping her mouth shut to make sure that she could find out as much as possible about Danielle.

"Ronnie treated her like crap. She never wanted her around and all Dan did was try harder to please her." Stacey continued in between sips of tea.

"What's she like then? I mean I've chatted to her when she's been looking after Amy but I hardly know her."

Stacey hesitated; she wanted to blurt out everything, every cruel insult that had left Danielle inconsolable or every time she had come so close to telling Ronnie everything. But Stacey knew that Danielle wouldn't forgive her so she bit her tongue.

"Why do you care? Your sister never did" Stacey remarked. "That's not true Stace! If you knew what Ronnie had been through..." Roxy said before she was interrupted by Stacey. "What she has been through! What about Danielle!" Stacey said, raising her voice in anger.

"That girl has been broken so many times by your family. Every time she tried to tell Ronnie she didn't want to know" Stacey continued. Roxy leant forward, intrigued by what Stacey had just said.

"She tried to tell Ronnie, when?" Roxy asked. Stacey paused, realising it wasn't the best time to tell Roxy about Danielle's abortion. "A couple of months ago, she had it all planned. She knew exactly what she was going to say and then Ronnie just cancelled on her, told her she was the biggest mistake of her life" Stacey said, watching as Roxy's expression changed to one of confusion.

"What! Ronnie would never say that!" Roxy stated firmly, confused as to why Stacey was lying. "Well she did and it destroyed Danielle" Stacey said coldly. "All Danielle ever wanted was for Ronnie to be a proper mum, be there for her. All she ever talked about was them watching soppy romantic movies and go shopping together" Stacey said, managing a smile as she remembered how Danielle gushed over Ronnie.

Roxy noticed the small smile from Stacey, even if it was there for only a second. "What else about Danielle?" Roxy said, determined to find out more about her niece whilst Stacey let her guard down.

"She is just a normal girl; kind, sweet. The nicest girl you could ever meet. Wouldn't hurt a fly. That's why I could never understand how she was a Mitchell" Stacey said shaking her head, her face hardening again.

Roxy smiled at Stacey, she knew that Stacey meant it but it wasn't the time to fight back and start another argument. "I need to find her Stacey. This is all such a mess!" Roxy pleaded. "You don't need to tell me that!" Stacey barked.

"All Ronnie wants is her little girl back and I'm sure that's all that Danielle wants as well" Roxy looked at Stacey for some sort of confirmation. "I just need to find Danielle and make it right" Roxy said gently.

Stacey stared at Roxy for a second, looking at her soft smile and blue eyes that were beaming at her in anticipation. She knew deep down this is what Dan wanted but it she felt guilty that she was talking to Roxy behind her best friend's back. Stacey sighed, reaching for a small piece of paper in her back pocket. She folded it out and handed it to Roxy. "This is Danielle's address in Telford" Stacey said. "But Roxy, Make sure she doesn't get hurt again. She couldn't take it again. She's already left; if Ronnie hurt her again I don't know what she would do"." Roxy nodded, offering a smile as a thank you before she left the Slater's house, clutching Danielle's address in her hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Danielle sat in her room. Her dad had brought her up a bowl of spaghetti bolognaise. It lay cold and untouched on her bedside table. She didn't have the heart to tell him she'd stopped eating meat. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. She couldn't face the thought of food. It was mid afternoon already but the closed curtains blocked out the sun which tried to break through into her room. She wanted to be in the dark.

Danielle looked at the clock. She had been sat in the same position since morning. She hadn't slept, instead spending the night crying into her pillow, she had reached for her locket several times, each time feeling another stab of anguish at it's absence. It had always been a comfort to her, having her mother close to her heart. Now she didn't even have that. She had lost everything she ever had of Ronnie. There was nothing left.

The night had been painful, agonising. Fantasies and dreams of a future were shattered, Danielle felt hopeless. For almost a year her whole life had revolved around Ronnie Mitchell. Trying to please her, trying to get to know her, trying to tell her. All she had thought about was Ronnie, how she would react, how they could bond, the holidays they could take, the shopping, working together, going travelling, everything. Every thought Danielle had had for almost a year had involved Ronnie.

Now there was nothing. Ronnie was gone and Danielle had nothing to fall back on. She had moved to Walford with so many hopes. Ever since her parents had told her she was adopted, ever since that tender age of five Danielle had thought about who her other mummy was. She wore her locket every day and stared at the picture before bed every night. After her mother had sung to her, when she was alone she had stared at the face of her other mum and wondered. As the years passed she had found herself more comforted by her birth mother, by the possibilities, by just looking at her picture. She was more and more attached to this nameless mother every passing day. When her adoptive mother had died Danielle had been distraught but a part of her found a new sense of hope and happiness. She would finally meet the person who she had thought of for so long.

She hadn't expected the Veronica Mitchell she had found in London. All of her dreams had felt so real. The mother who would hold her in her arms, talk to her late into the night, that wasn't Ronnie. But at the same time, she loved Ronnie for who she was, this beautiful, glamourous woman as much as any fantasy that she had held.

Danielle rubbed her hands viciously over her face. She didn't know what to do with herself. She didn't even have work or Stacey to distract her, though even if she did it wouldn't have helped. Nothing would repair this now. Her mother, Ronnie, had been a part of her life, a part of her heart for so long since before she had even met her. Now that part of her was gone, she was rejected. There was a void, an unfillable chasm in her life.

Danielle looked around the room. She tried to think of something that would comfort her, something to cling on to. But there was nothing around her. It didn't feel like home anymore. Everything she had left in Telford was from the old Danielle. She reached tentatively into her rucksack. Her hand closed around the one thing Danielle wanted, a small folded photograph. She felt guilty for having it, she had taken it from Ronnie's flat when she had helped her unpack. It had been spur of the moment, she hadn't meant to steal it. But the smiling faces of her mother and her aunt, stood together behind the bar of the Queen Vic had meant more to her than Ronnie would ever understand. So sat alone in her darkened room she unfolded the photograph and found herself staring into the eyes of her mother.

It felt like tears would flood Danielle as the grief overwhelmed her, but none came. She thought to herself that maybe she had run out of tears, maybe she had cried all the tears she had for Ronnie Mitchell. Or perhaps she was more like her mother than she had thought. Perhaps she was cold on the inside too. She felt it. She felt like her very organs had frozen, her blood, ice as it ran through her veins.

She pressed the photograph against her heart and hugged it there. She almost hated the fact that she still loved Ronnie, after everything, even after she had pushed her onto the cold tarmac and told her that nobody would want her as a daughter. Even after that she still loved her, she almost hated it, but only almost. Deep down, it was just a sadness and loss. She still wanted her mother, she always would. But now…even if Ronnie was in her life, Danielle didn't know if she would ever forget the things she had said.

There was a bitterness inside Danielle that she had never felt before. A resentment towards Ronnie not only for what she said and did but for taking away even the hopes that Danielle had clung to. She had broken Danielle's heart. Danielle curled herself up on her bed, lying foetally, wanting only one thing. Wanting her mummy to make it better. But that mother wasn't Ronnie, it wasn't anyone, it wasn't even a fantasy, it wasn't real. She didn't exist.

"Dani?" Danielle curled herself into a tighter ball as she heard her dad knocking at her bedroom door.

"Dani, love? I was going to watch a film, did you want to come down and join me? You could pick?" Andy's voice was worried and Danielle felt it nagging at her, like a drone that wouldn't leave her alone. She wanted to scream at him, tell him she didn't care about a film, she didn't care about any of it. Nothing mattered anymore.

"No. Thanks." Was the reply she gave. She tried to keep her voice even, not show any emotion. She smiled bitterly as she thought that she should be good at it, it was in her genes after all.

"You haven't come out of your room all day. Are you ok Dani?" Danielle could feel the muscles tense in her face as she tried to restrain herself from just yelling, screaming wordlessly, barking at him to just leave her the hell alone. Her eyes narrowed with anger. The parent she had no connection with, the one she loved but would never truly be happy with was here, pestering her, constantly. The parent she loved…the one she wanted, the mother who she couldn't spend enough time with didn't even want to know her. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

"I'm fine…Dad. Just tired. It was a long trip back. It's nothing. I'm just getting some rest." Danielle replied, her eyes skated around the room, her eyes always darted nervously when she lied. She had never been able to lie well. But she had learned. And she would keep learning. What other option did she have?

She heard her dad's footsteps move away down the hall. Danielle sighed, letting some of the tension out of her body. But the ache remained. She felt homesick but there was no home to go to.

An hour or two passed, Danielle hadn't moved from her bed. She had closed her eyes to try and sleep, her body and mind both felt exhausted, she was physically and emotionally drained but still, sleep evaded her. Behind her eyelids, as soon as they closed was her mother's face. The anger, fury and disgust written all over it as she had thrown Danielle bodily from the pub, from her life. Danielle felt like it was burned into her memory, branded into her thoughts, into every recess. She was restless but had no energy or motivation to move. She let herself just fall into her own thoughts, it was painful, everything was.

A car screeched out on the street. Danielle was surprised at how angry she felt towards the noise. She wanted a distraction from her own thoughts but being interrupted from them annoyed her just as much. She heard the car moving slowly and heard it come to a stop. A door was slammed. A door was opened.

Danielle moved resignedly from her curled position and sat on her bed facing the window. She used to know all of the neighbours. The children she had babysat, the girl across the road who had been her best friend until she had moved away when they were eight. She didn't know if any of the neighbours she knew were still there. It had only been seven, maybe eight months since she had left…but it felt like a lifetime.

She heard a baby crying outside. A distraction. Maybe she could offer to babysit for some of the neighbours again. The thought of it was a slight comfort but it made another part of her break. Her little cousin Amy, she'd never see her again. Ronnie hadn't just taken away her mother, she had taken away her perfect baby cousin, her aunt, her whole family.

Danielle moved to the window, she wanted to watch people, normal people. The people who were unjaded by rejection. She wanted to see them going about their days, coming back from work, back to their families. It was a twisted desire to see what she couldn't have. Maybe she really was bitter.

As she pushed the curtain aside she heard a door slam again. She looked down to the street below. A car was parked outside her house, a woman walked around the back of the car, she was holding a baby. Danielle looked down at her, her mouth agape, her eyes filling with more tears. They slowly ran down her face as she pressed her hand feebly against the window.

The woman looked at the house in front of her. She looked up towards the window and saw the weeping blonde staring down at her. Their eyes met. She smiled.

Danielle stared down, tears blurred her vision but her gaze didn't falter. She saw the baby in her arms, she saw her smile. She looked straight down into the eyes of her aunt.


	6. Chapter 6

Danielle couldn't take her eyes off Roxy; her smile was so warm and inviting. It may not have been the Mitchell sister that Danielle truly wanted at her door but the fact that Roxy had come all the way to Telford made Danielle smile, maybe the Mitchell's cared after all?

She watched intently as her dad opened the door to Roxy; who had Amy nestled in her arms. She looked down and noticed that Roxy seemed in deep conversation with her dad, who was standing across the doorway; his arms spread in front of Roxy to block her path.

Danielle knew she should have felt happy and loved that her dad was so protective over her; like a proper parent should be but she felt herself becoming more agitated that he had not yet stepped aside, not letting her family through. Though this had been the house she had grown up in, the room that she had slept in for 19 years it didn't feel like home anymore. The little connection she had with her father had all but faded. She would always love him but the family she wanted, the family she needed no longer lay in Telford.

Danielle felt nervous as she imagined what they were talking about; how much of the truth they each knew. She craned her neck to look at Roxy, who was now edging closer and closer to the door. Even though Roxy's smile had comforted her moments before Danielle worried about what she was saying. Her time in Walford had taught her that the Mitchell's were unpredictable, never to be taken at face value.

Danielle watched relieved as she saw Roxy edge past her dad, who grudgingly let her past. Danielle dropped back from the window as her mind began to race with thoughts as to why her aunt had appeared on her doorstep. She felt nervous about talking to Roxy; terrified that she might blurt out the truth and makes the situation even worse. But then she remembered her beautiful cousin. Danielle had always loved Amy, longed to be close to the only member of the Mitchell family who she could rely on. Danielle managed a small smile before heart jumped as she heard footsteps approaching her room.

"Dani, there is someone here to see you" She heard Andy saying, she could hear the cautious tone in his voice as he showed the strangers to his daughter's bedroom. "I'll be downstairs if you need me" Danielle heard him say, his voice trailing off as he went back down the stairs.

Danielle froze as she realised that Roxy was only metres away, standing behind her own bedroom door. Danielle felt the room was starting to close in around her as she took a deep breath, ready to talk to her aunt. Danielle knew that she couldn't hide anymore, her bedroom walls may be protecting her for the moment but she needed to open the door to Roxy, find out what she knew and why she was here. Danielle started to edge towards to door handle when she was interrupted.

"Danielle, can we come in?" Roxy asked tentatively. "Amy would really love to see you," Roxy said, gently rocking Amy in her arms so she let out a little gurgle of excitement. Danielle heard this; a smile spreading across her face as she thought of her gorgeous baby cousin. Danielle approached the door, taking one deep breath before clutching the doorknob in her hands and turning it slowly.

Her face fell to a sad smile when she looked at Roxy and baby Amy. Not the most important parts but still two parts of what she had longed for, dangled in front of her, just out of reach. She stepped aside wordlessly and let Roxy walk through.

Danielle watched Roxy walk across the room to her bed where she turned back to look at her niece closing the door. Danielle just watched her, trying to gauge why she could be here, what she knew. Unbeknown to her Roxy was also trying to gauge the situation, how to approach the topic with her new niece. Danielle stared at Roxy, her eyes red from crying and drawn from her exhaustion.

"Why are you here Roxy?" Danielle asked, her voice drained. She was so tired of everything, of trying so hard. She couldn't help but feel that this was just going to be another stab in the back. Maybe Ronnie had taken out some sort of restraining order on her and had sent Roxy to do the dirty work. Right now she wouldn't put it past Ronnie, she wouldn't put anything past her. But Roxy had smiled so softly at her.

Roxy avoided Danielle's questioning gaze and instead turned her head to glance at the room around her.

"So…this is your room then?" Roxy said, trying to stall the inevitable until she could find out a bit more about Danielle's feelings about it. The tearstained and sunken eyes didn't exactly point to her being receptive.

"Looks like Ronnie's when she was your age." She said watching Danielle intently from the corner of her eyes to see how she'd react to this. She saw the way she tensed up, the way her face turned to almost anger.

"What's this about Roxy?" Danielle exclaimed. She couldn't believe that Roxy would speak so casually about Ronnie, just dropping her into conversation, even having the audacity to compare them. After the reception, after everything, Danielle felt that this was just too much. But there was still a curiosity, some faint, blind hope that everything would be alright.

Roxy sighed. Danielle wasn't happy, she wasn't smiling, Roxy knew it was ridiculous to expect her to be happy after everything but the Danielle she knew was always chirpy, even sickeningly so. It was strange to be confronted with the withdrawn, broken teenager she was at the moment. Roxy couldn't help thinking that right now she was just like Ronnie. Putting up the angry front, the ice queen façade to hide the pain inside.

"It's true isn't it? You were telling the truth." Roxy said as she jiggled Amy up and down slightly. At the same time she reached into her pocket and held out her hand. The locket swung back and forth between her fingers.

Danielle stared wide eyed at the locket and nodded slowly, tears falling from her eyes as she looked down to the floor. She reached her hand out and Roxy placed the locket into her upturned palm. Roxy watched as Danielle hugged it into her chest as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Roxy sat on the bed with a sigh. It was true. Danielle was Ronnie's daughter, the little girl she had wanted for nineteen years. But Ronnie didn't know. Roxy didn't quite know where to go from here. Did she tell Ronnie? She didn't even know what Danielle thought about it all. Her thoughts were getting ahead of her. She needed to slow down and try and take things at Danielle's pace.

Roxy was about to pat the bed beside her to gesture to Danielle to join her but her hand fell upon a creased photograph, it was of her and Ronnie. She felt an ache as she realised how much Danielle had doted on Ronnie. She just hoped that Ronnie hadn't pushed her a step too far. She hoped that Danielle still loved her and in truth she hoped Danielle still loved her and Amy too. It was strange to look at this nineteen year old woman, the girl who had babysat Amy and cleaned the Vic and know that this was her niece.

She held the photograph in the hand that wasn't wrapped around Amy.

"Ronnie always liked this picture of us." Roxy said, smiling up at Danielle. "I think it's because one of the few where we're both sober." Roxy joked, but she noticed that it didn't even crack a smile on Danielle. She sighed again.

"Why didn't you tell her Danielle?" Roxy couldn't hold back the question. She hoped she wasn't rushing her niece. She just had to know. She had to know why Danielle had kept the truth from Ronnie for so long.

Roxy watched as she saw Danielle flinch slightly at the question, her body tensing up as she struggled to start explaining. "I tried" Danielle said softly. Roxy watched her niece drop her head; looking straight down to the floor.

"But every time I did she just pushed me away" Danielle explained, her eyes on momentarily looking up at Roxy as she spoke before they shot back down to the floor. Roxy noticed the pain and hurt in Danielle's eyes; her body crouched over as she struggled to make eye contact with her.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to, she didn't know who you were" Roxy said gently. Although she was making excuses for her sister's behaviour Roxy felt extremely sorry for Danielle. She remembered the time when Ronnie got her arrested, how Ronnie had been so harsh and cruel when Danielle had done nothing wrong.

"So what I should just forgive her?" Danielle asked with a slightly harsher tone to her voice. Roxy watched as Danielle's back straightened, she turned to face Roxy. Roxy momentarily forgot that Danielle had asked her a question. She couldn't help but stare at her niece. Even though her eyes were blotchy and tear stained, her face pale and fraught but she still noticed the resemblance to Ronnie.

"You look so much like her," Roxy couldn't help but say, smiling softly at Danielle.

"I'm _nothing_ like her." Danielle said bitterly. She didn't want to think about it, she had always felt inferior to Ronnie, not quite good enough to be her daughter. She always wanted to be more like Ronnie. But now she couldn't stand the thought of being cold and callous and heartless like the Ronnie Mitchell she could finally see.

Roxy was taken aback by the venom in Danielle's voice. She'd never heard her so angry. Even at the reception when she spoke about Archie, she had been furious and screaming, but now, this wasn't an outburst, an emotional moment. This was calculated. Roxy hadn't imagined Danielle being able to even have such bitterness.

Roxy wanted to repeat herself, say how much Danielle just sounded like her mother but Roxy knew it wouldn't help; mentions of Ronnie seemed only to ignite Danielle's anger and bitterness further.


	7. Chapter 7

Roxy and Danielle sat side by side, just inches away from each other on Danielle's bed. They had been talking for nearly an hour, Roxy had spent most of that time listening to Danielle resentfully attack Ronnie for her behaviour over the last year. Roxy had occasionally interrupted; trying to put a good word in for Ronnie but these intermittent mentions were shot down by an increasingly emotional and open Danielle.

"She didn't want me then and she doesn't want me know" Danielle said, her voice sounded defeated and broken. Ronnie had beaten any strength that Danielle had left out of her, she felt just like a shell of her former self.

"That's not true" Roxy said, pleading with Danielle to listen to her. "There hasn't been a moment Ronnie hasn't thought about you, longed to have you back with her" Roxy continued, hoping the emotion of the moment would somehow convince a guarded Danielle that she was telling the truth.

"Then why didn't she believe me?" Danielle asked desperately, her hostile guard starting to fall as she trailed through the painful memories from the wedding. "I begged her, I begged her to believe me" Danielle said, she felt her voice starting to crack as tears welled in her eyes. Danielle could feel her emotions boiling over so she took a moment to pause, gather the little strength she had left in her.

Roxy was slightly taken aback as she watched Danielle opening up and then immediately placing up her guard, gently wiping back her tears to restore her bitter and strong appearance. Although Roxy didn't know Danielle well she could see that this strength Danielle was portraying was just a mask, the hurt and pain in Danielle's eyes displayed the true extent of Danielle's feelings.

Roxy just watched Danielle for a moment, shocked at how much Danielle was like Ronnie. She had seemed like such a sweet girl, timid and kind but today Roxy had seen Danielle defend her; mask her feelings in a way that Ronnie had done all her life.

"It wasn't Ronnie's fault, it was our Dad's. He lied to her Danielle; from the moment you were born he manipulated her and hurt her. I didn't believe it until the wedding but now I see the truth. We should have all believed you, I'm so sorry" Roxy said, feeling guilty that she had not believed Danielle or Ronnie about her father.

"She has been hurt so badly by him that...." Roxy continued before Danielle's voice rose over Roxy's. "She's been hurt, what about me!" Danielle screamed, incensed by Roxy's comment. She felt like a selfish child demanding attention and pity but she didn't care, the anger of how she had been treated was too much to keep bottled inside.

"Least Ronnie had family, she had you to look after her but I, I have no one" Danielle said firmly, believing every word she spoke. "I gave up everything for Ronnie; my family, my friends, this home and now it's all gone, it's not the same here anymore. Ronnie was my last chance" Danielle said, bowing her head in defeat as she admitted how lonely and lost she felt.

"You have us" Roxy whispered gently. She carefully turned Amy in her arms, placing her on Danielle's lap. She watched Danielle's face soften as she wrapped her arms lovingly around Amy.

"Look, Ronnie's…difficult. She is and she's pretty much a frosty cow to anyone who doesn't do what she wants. I love her but it's true. But Dani, she really will love you," Danielle made to interrupt but Roxy just raised her voice to talk over her,

"And even if you aren't interested, well I want to get to know my niece don't I? And Amy here, well she has me as a mum, without Auntie Ronnie there who's going to set her a good example? She needs her cousin." Roxy spoke encouragingly to Danielle, trying to slowly talk her around. Roxy needed to get Danielle back to Walford. She had let Ronnie down enough times. She wanted to do this, to save her sister from losing her daughter all over again. Also, Roxy was being honest. She did want to know her niece, it was surreal for her to think that Danielle, this 19 year old was her baby niece.

"What? You want me to go back? After everything?" Danielle said, her eyes widening as she looked incredulously and worriedly at Roxy. "Ronnie, she rejected me, she said I was a liar in front of everyone. Everyone was there. They made out that I was mad. Nobody believed me. How can I ever go back there?"

Roxy's lips thinned as she rolled them under her teeth, she took a deep breath that she didn't know how to let out. Danielle was right, everyone thought she was lying and probably very troubled.

"Forget them. Anyone who's stupid enough to say or do anything will have me to deal with. And you've got all us other Mitchells. Nobody messes with a Mitchell." Roxy said. She wanted Danielle to feel included, part of something. She knew she needed to make Danielle feel wanted and safe for her to even consider coming back. It would be difficult.

"Yeah, you only mess with each other." Danielle muttered under her breath. Seven months of watching Ronnie as much as she could had told her a lot about the Mitchells, she'd cleaned for them, she knew more than most did about the family. She knew about Archie, about Roxy and Jack, all the dirty secrets they wanted to keep hidden.

Roxy heard Danielle's comment and was about to snap back at her but caught herself just in time. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was just like fighting with Ronnie. The shield, the cutting comments, the cold front. She wondered how long it would be until Danielle broke. She'd come so close to getting under Danielle's skin just a moment ago.

"Ok, we're not perfect. But think about it, Amy, nights out with your amazing Aunt Roxy, free drinks on tap at the Vic. Although I'll warn you now, Aunty Peg's already planning one of her 'family meals' for you, so you're going to have to put up with a _lot_ of her cooking." Roxy joked, nudging Danielle intermittently. She grinned when she saw the small smile on Danielle.

"Just come back and get to know your family." Roxy stated. She reached over to tickle Amy who gave a beaming grin and looked up at Danielle. Roxy knew it was devious but Amy's big pleading eyes definitely seemed to be having an effect on Danielle.

"Ronnie wouldn't want me there." Danielle replied as she began to realise how much she really did want to take Roxy up on her offer. "And what about your Dad? I can't, I mean he lied, he told everyone I was lying. He told me to leave. I can't." Danielle's voice began to rise and Roxy could see she was scared and getting herself worked up, even Amy's smile faded.

Roxy put her hand firmly on Danielle's arm hoping to stop the panic before it started.

"They aren't there. Neither of them." Danielle looked at her with her brow creased and mouth open in confusion. "Ronnie…she left the morning after the wedding. I don't actually know where she is." Roxy tried to move on quickly as she didn't want to think about the fact that she had no clue where Ronnie could be.

"And as for Dad, we got rid of him when I found your locket. As soon as we knew the truth we saw the truth about him and we chose that. We wanted him out and you in. So you don't really have and choice." Roxy grinned at Danielle trying to gloss over anything bad. Danielle was going to have a hard enough time without knowing about how messy things were with Archie and with Ronnie gone.

"Ronnie's gone?" It wasn't a surprise that Danielle had only heard those words. She had listened to the rest but despite everything Ronnie was the only thought in her head.

"I think everything was just a bit too much for her. Not just the wedding stuff but uh, Jack and…well it doesn't matter what. She's not there right now so you have plenty of time to settle in and spend with me and Amy. Yeah?" Roxy began to wonder how long she would have to tiptoe around the subject of her sister. Danielle was everything that Ronnie had dreamed of for nineteen years and from how things were, Roxy feared that Ronnie could lose it all the minute she finds her.

Danielle hesitated, tempted by the offer of being accepted into the Mitchell fold. She couldn't help but feel warmth and love at the thought of being a proper Mitchell, no longer looking from the inside and dreaming of what it might be like.

But Danielle couldn't dispel her anger and resentment towards Ronnie and the Mitchells. They had hurt her and shamed her; part of Danielle felt weak at crumbling to Roxy's offer. She wanted to fight back and prove to them all that she was strong and independent.

Danielle tried to avoid catching the eye of Roxy or staring into the innocent and beautiful eyes of Amy, knowing that their smiles would make her guard fall and her defence crumble. Instead she looked around her bedroom, trying to wrap herself in memories of her happy childhood.

But as Danielle's eyes darted from one object to the next she noticed how cold and empty the room felt. Danielle realised that her room was filled with just memories, reminders of happiness that no longer remained. Her mother who had passed away years ago and the friends she had lost contact with since she had moved to London could no longer offer her the happiness and love she craved.

Danielle's eyes flashed over Roxy's, desperately trying not to get too attached to the idea of a happy family. Even though Roxy had sounded genuine Danielle knew that the Mitchell's were never a happy family, she had been in Walford long enough to remember hearing the fights, tears and tantrums that seemed to follow that family around.

But Danielle could not help but look down and stare at Amy, who was happily bouncing on her knee. Her playful giggle and gentle smile had always broken Danielle and she couldn't help but soften towards the idea of Amy being her family. Danielle leant towards Amy, stroking her cheek with her finger. "So you need your big cousin hey?" Danielle asked softly.

A smile spread across Danielle's face as she realised that all she ever wanted was sitting right in front of her. It may not be the conventional family she had once dreamed of but it was people that loved her and a home where she would feel welcome. Danielle pushed her reservations to one side and nodded at Roxy, the pair understanding each other without a word needing to be spoken. "Thank you" Roxy mouthed, gently placing her hand on Danielle's knee.


	8. Chapter 8

"Do you want to take this one?" Roxy asked, pulling another top out of Danielle's wardrobe before dangling it in Danielle's face. Danielle nodded vaguely at Roxy, distracted by Amy as she bounced her gently on her knee.

Roxy threw the t-shirt into an open suitcase on the floor as she went round packing Danielle's belongings. Although she enjoyed it, Roxy knew that it properly wasn't her place to already be snooping through her niece's wardrobe but she couldn't bring herself to separate Danielle and Amy, both looked so content and happy together.

Danielle managed to divert her loving gaze away from Amy for a second. She looked up and watched at Roxy digging around in her wardrobe. It was supposed to be packing but Danielle had the distinct impression that her aunt had a fairly inquisitive streak and this was nothing more than an excuse to snoop around.

"Oooh, what's this?" Roxy sang with a smirk as she dangled a pvc bra from her finger. Danielle blanched having forgotten that it was even in there.

"Stacey bought it for me for Christmas, she said…oh never mind. Stop grinning at me." Danielle could feel her face flush. It really was innocent and just a present from Stacey, plus there was nothing wrong with having it even if it wasn't. She was nineteen after all, but still she was embarrassed.

"No way. This is coming with you. And if you don't want it…" Roxy trailed off as she held the bra against herself, it was slightly small but she pulled it to cover her, over her top.

Danielle laughed as she saw Roxy's face which was actually serious as she worked out if she could fit herself into the garment.

Roxy heard Danielle laugh and quietly sighed with relief, the ice seemed to be broken. She grinned once more at Danielle who was still smiling at her, albeit with an embarrassed flush covering her face as well. She placed the bra into the open suitcase, which was filling at an alarming rate before turning back to the wardrobe.

"So any other things you'd rather keep hidden?" Roxy joked, raising her eyebrows at her niece. She wasn't sure how this relationship with Danielle was meant to be. Was she meant to be the fun aunt, letting her do all the things that she really shouldn't or with Ronnie not there was she meant to fill a maternal role and keep Danielle away from all those things? It was a while since Roxy had had to put so much thought into anything, she decided to just treat Danielle as she had before, just as a friend for now, of course with some added aunt behaviour. Danielle was nineteen, she wasn't nine.

"Right…that's clothes sorted I think." Roxy stated after a while, standing up from where she had been crouched in front of the wardrobe. "Danielle, I want you to stay at the Vic and you know, make the place home. So whatever you want to bring and that can fit in the car…anything."

"Thanks Roxy, for everything" Danielle replied, smiling sweetly at her aunt as Roxy moved from the wardrobe over to Danielle's chest of drawers. "It's fine. We are family remember" Roxy said as she rummaged through Danielle's jewellery box. Danielle's smile widened, Roxy's words sounded so natural that she felt tears brimming in her eyes. Danielle immediately wiped them away as Roxy turned to face her with a teddy bear in her hand.

"Who's this then?" Roxy asked, waving the teddy bear back and forth in front of Amy, making her giggle. "That's Digby" Danielle said sweetly, slightly embarrassed that Roxy had found her childhood toy. But Digby had meant a lot to Danielle, the small bear had been with her since she was young, one of the nice reminders from her childhood. "It's sweet" Roxy said, placing him on the bed next to Danielle.

Danielle felt relieved that Roxy hadn't found the presence of Digby childish, Danielle craved Roxy's acceptance and her opinion meant a lot to Danielle. She picked up the bear and held it in front of Amy. "Do you want to take care of Digby now?" Danielle said, happily watching Amy's eyes light up as she beamed at the bear.

Roxy had been busily rooting through Danielle's belongings but she had kept an eye on Danielle and Amy by occasionally glancing in the mirror, the pair just in view. The touching exchange brought a tear to Roxy's eye as she placed the last of Danielle's things in the suitcase.

Roxy sighed, relieved that her work was done. She turned to look at Danielle, expecting to be thanked for her help but Danielle was too engrossed in her cousin to notice Roxy looking down on here. "No need to thank me" Roxy joked sarcastically. "Shall I just clean your own room while I'm at it?" Roxy added. "Um?" Danielle responded vaguely, realising that Roxy had been speaking to her. Roxy shook her head jokingly as Danielle's gaze travelled back to Amy. She sat down on top of the suitcase, struggling to close the zip as clothes bulged out the side of the case.

"Danielle, are you ok?" a voice called from downstairs. Her father's call woke Danielle up, reminding her that she wasn't just herself, Roxy and Amy; a bubble that Danielle had happily slipped into. "Yeah" Danielle called, hoping her vague response would satisfy her father's interest.

Danielle giggled to herself as she watched Roxy still struggling with her case, her legs wide apart and knees clasped together as she frustratingly tried to pull the zip round. Danielle couldn't help but stare and laugh at Roxy as she pulled a series of hysterical expressions; mouthing expletives as she fought with the case.

Roxy burst into laughter, realising how ridiculous she must look sprawled over a suitcase. But they were immediately interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. "Dani, can I come in?" A hesitant Andy asked. Danielle couldn't help but shot a look of concern at Roxy, worried what her dad would ask.

"What did you tell him? When he asked who you were?" Danielle asked nervously. "I just said I was a mate, although I might have paused a bit too long, he might think you're gay" Roxy joked, but Danielle's nervous expression still remained. "But you know, you could do worse" Roxy added, trying to ease Danielle's concerns by offering a cheeky wink and smirk. Danielle managed to smile before realising her dad was still waiting outside the door. "Yeah, come in" Danielle said, passing Amy back to Roxy who joined Danielle on the bed.

Andy cautiously opened the door to look at Roxy, Danielle and Amy sitting on the bed together, he noted how on edge his daughter looked. "Everything ok?" he asked, his eyes scanning Roxy up and down. "Everything's fine" Danielle said, hoping her father wouldn't linger in her room. Danielle's nerves increased as she thought of all the questions he could ask, all the answers she just didn't have.

Andy looked on at the close huddle of women sat before him. He had didn't recognise the women but he noticed how content Danielle seemed in her company. Whilst Danielle seemed distant from him he felt slight sadness that she seemed so close and happy in the presence of a stranger.

"Dad..." Danielle blurted out as Andy turned to leave. She stared at him, saddened by the confused and slightly upset look in his eyes. The last thing Danielle wanted to do was hurt her dad, he deserved the truth. "I'm going back to London with Roxy" Danielle said. Part of her wanted everything to spill out but what she had just told her dad was the only truth Danielle knew for certain at the moment. What would happen when she got there was still a blur to Danielle, future problems that she had pushed to the back of her mind for now.

"You're leaving?" Andy asked, feeling hurt and confused by his daughter's sudden revelation. Andy looked at his daughter, waiting for a response but Danielle just stared back at him, shifting nervously on the bed. "Dani, what's been going on?" he asked, months on concern mounting inside of him. He had noticed how uncomfortable Danielle had been since she had returned from London, she had returned a different girl. Gone was the sunny Danielle that he remembered so fondly, his daughter was now armoured and cold.

"Nothing" Danielle muttered awkwardly. "Love, you've not left your room since you got here and now you're going off again? I've not even seen you. What's happening Dani?" Andy asked, trying to reach out to his daughter as he felt her slip further away.

"Nothing dad, I promise. I just needed come back to clear my head but Amy needs me and I have work on the stall and..." Danielle's voice trailed off as she ran out of excuses, she could feel her dad's eyes fixed on her intently, his glare making her feel tense.

"You're going back with your...friend here? What about you're other...friend? The one who called me after the..." Andy said before Danielle's head shot, her voice interrupting suddenly. "No dad, she was my boss, she's not living in London now. I just babysit Amy" Danielle said quickly, not pausing for breath as she tried to stop the conversation drifting onto the subject of Ronnie.

Andy leant forward to Danielle, bending down in front of his daughter so he could talk to her face to face without his eyes diverting to the stranger sat behind her. He wanted it to just be him and Danielle. "Why are you choosing to live with strangers over your own family?" Andy asked, he felt wounded by Danielle's rejection.

"I'm not choosing anyone over anyone else. I just need to do this for me. I'm sorry dad but I will call you more often. I'm not forgetting you, it's just, I have got things there that I need to do, things I need to find out and I just need to be there right now. I can't be here." Danielle felt ashamed as she watched her dad's face fall as she tried her best to explain.

"I miss you love" Andy said gently, tears brimming in his eyes. Danielle quickly noticed that her dad was becoming upset. She couldn't bear seeing her dad so upset. "I'm sorry. I'm not doing this to hurt you; I just need to think of myself, just for now. I'm sorry" Danielle said, ashamed of her selfish reasons for leaving. But she knew that she did need to do this, even though it was hurting her father. She couldn't live her life wondering about how things might have been with the Mitchells.

Andy slowly got to his feet, a defeated and broken man as he watched Danielle and Roxy stand up. Danielle struggled to pick up her suitcase, managing to drag it out of her room with Roxy following, Amy now peacefully sleeping in her arms.

As Danielle walked through the doorframe she met her father, who had stepped aside to let them pass. His eyes were glazed with tears, his body limp and numb as he watched his daughter leave once again. Through her own tears Danielle kissed her father on the cheek lovingly. She knew he could never fully understand but she still hated herself for hurting him, leaving him so abruptly. She took one final look at him and the house she grew up in before dragging the suitcase down the stairs and out the door, followed by Roxy and Amy. As they headed to Roxy's car Danielle felt a warm hand gently slide across her palm and wrap her fingers around her hand tightly, Roxy's simple gesture offering her the love and support that she had always dreamed of.


	9. Chapter 9

Roxy shifted in her seat slightly as the leather stuck to her bare legs. The top of the jeep was open, the wind blowing around the two women as they drove steadily down the motorway. Roxy pushed her sunglasses down slightly and glanced sideways at Danielle. The two had chatted for a while but had soon fallen into a comfortable silence. As the silence lingered, Roxy was becoming less and less comfortable with it. Danielle stared out the window, her eyes fixed on the countryside as it flew past her eyes. As discomfort grew, Danielle remembered why she had always hated car journeys. Trapped in the silent vehicle, Danielle couldn't help but get drowned in her thoughts.

Roxy reached over with one hand, and pushed Danielle's shoulder playfully, not taking her eyes off the road. "Oi, you're talkative aren't you?" she joked. "Sorry Roxy" Danielle replied meekly, a small smile playing on her face though as Roxy poked her again. "Right, let's see if Amy's really like her mum." Roxy said reaching for the dial on the CD player.

"I can sleep through anything. Ronnie had to throw a pan of water over me more than once to get me up after a night out." She noticed Danielle's awkward shuffling at the mention of Ronnie so once again tried to steer the conversation to lighter topics. "I'll be doing the same to you, you know. First I'll be the one getting you drunk though" Roxy was laughing to herself as she managed to sort out the CD player.

Danielle couldn't help but smile as she imagined the nights out and the trouble she would have with Roxy as an aunt! Music started playing softly through the speakers; Roxy immediately turned the volume way up before ruffling Danielle's hair and taking her eyes off the road for a moment to grin at her.

Danielle sat back, comfortable in her seat as the music blared. She stripped off her hoodie to her t-shirt, even with the breeze from the open top the sun was beating down, she squinted slightly and suddenly the hand of her aunt was rummaging in front of her in the glove box. Without even looking Roxy soon dropped the pair of sunglasses she had been searching for into Danielle's lap. Danielle put them on and sat back, relaxed with her aunt, her cousin, the sun beating down and the wind whipping around them as they drove onwards.

As the road continued on Danielle could see the green fields slipping fast, making their way steadily down the motorway. Danielle had managed to forget about the nerves and reservations she had about returning to Walford as she slouched comfortably in the car seat.

As the music continued to blare out of Roxy's speakers Danielle turned to look at Amy, who was sleeping peacefully in her car seat. "I can't believe she is still sleeping!" Danielle said, beaming at her niece as her eyes stay firmly shut, blonde strands of her hair blowing gently in the wind.

"Told you, just like her mum" Roxy said proudly. Danielle turned back to smile at Roxy, happily enjoying the views from the car and the music from the stereo. "...There are days, every now and again I pretend I'm okay. But that's not what gets me. What hurts the most, was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away..."

Danielle couldn't help but get lost in the lyrics, her mind trawling over the last few months. Roxy noticed Danielle tense up, her relaxed posture fading as Danielle started to fidget uncomfortably in her seat. As tears started to trickle down Danielle's cheeks from beneath her sunglasses she turned her head away from Roxy, hopeful that her aunt wouldn't notice her emotions spilling out.

Roxy wanted to say something but as she too listened to the lyrics she realised the painful connection that Danielle was making. Her hand immediately bolted towards the stereo buttons, turning it to the next track.

As the familiar tune started to drum through her ears Roxy noticed that Danielle still looked nervous, her shoulders still tense and her fingers running repeatedly through her hair. She tried to think of a witty remark or joke that could lighten the mood but Roxy's mind was blank, she couldn't help but listen to the iconic lyrics and as the chorus started Roxy couldn't help but sing along. "...You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen. Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine..." Roxy sang loudly.

As she wiped away the tears Danielle couldn't help but giggle at Roxy, her voice now drowning out the music as she tapped the steering wheel in time to the music. Roxy noticed Danielle giggling to herself, her niece's laughter making Roxy smile. As she continued to sing Roxy was slightly taken aback when she heard Danielle's meek voice starting to repeat the same lyrics.

"You can dance; you can jive, having the time of your life. See that girl; watch that scene, digging the dancing queen."

"You're a tease and you turn 'em on" They both shouted loudly. Roxy took one hand off the wheel, pointing at Danielle. She shot a cheeky look at Danielle, her eyebrows raised over her sunglasses with her tongue poking out over her top lip. They struggled to continue singing; both bursting into raptures of laughter.

"Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time..." Roxy mouthed a long with the opening line as the familiar beat started to blare out the stereo. "Oh Ronnie loved this song when she was younger, she used listen to it all the..." Roxy said before she could think about what she was saying. As they had been singing a long Roxy couldn't help but remember the times she had done the same with Ronnie in Ibiza, with Danielle it had started to feel so relaxed and normal that she had forgotten who she was talking too.

"Yeah me too" Danielle muttered in a glum tone as the conversation had once again turned to Ronnie. Roxy went to say something but no words seemed to utter from her mouth; any answer would offer no comfort to Danielle. Roxy leant forward and switched the CD off, the car falling into an uncomfortable silence once again.

"Everything is going to be ok Danielle" Roxy said gently, hoping that it would reassure Danielle. But even as Roxy spoke she doubted what she was saying, the truth was she didn't have any idea what was going to happen. "How do you know that?" Danielle asked.

"Well you have me and Amy" Even the reassurance of family couldn't lift Danielle's mood as she stared blankly out the window. "And..." As Danielle heard Roxy start to ignite the conversation again her hand bolted to the stereo back on again. Roxy was slightly taken aback by Danielle's impolite move but as she glanced over to Danielle she noticed how distant and hurt her niece seemed.

As her eyes fixed on the road ahead she noticed a sign directing to services up ahead. Even though she wanted to get back home as soon as possible Roxy thought that it would be a good point to stop, the atmosphere in the car was still uncomfortably awkward. "We'll just stop and stretch our legs" Roxy said as she pulled into the service station. Danielle managed a grunt in recognition before opening the car door and stepping out.

As she shuffled through between the shelves Danielle's mind was distant, she flicked through pages of a glossy magazine, pretending to look interested and busy as Roxy came up to her with Amy in her arms. "Do you want anything Danielle?" Roxy asked as she made her way to the counter. "No" Danielle replied blankly, following her aunt up to the counter. Roxy couldn't help but start to feel slightly annoyed by Danielle's attitude; she had come all this way to take her home. But she also felt slightly amused that Danielle's behaviour mirrored that of Ronnie's; when she was in a bad mood little would lift her out of it.

"Would you like anything else with that?" the cashier asked, his eyes darting up and down Roxy. Danielle sighed, not wanting to watch her aunt shamelessly flirt with an over eager cashier. "Not unless you want baby spit all over you" Roxy joked loudly as she looked down at Amy, who had food round her mouth after just being fed. "Right that's six eighty please" the cashier said immediately, his eyes glued to the till as he fiddled awkwardly with the coins Roxy had just passed him. Danielle managed a small smile as she left the store with Roxy; she looked back to the cashier whose cheeks had turned red but was still watching Roxy's swaying hips as she walked away.

As Roxy took a seat at a nearby table Danielle reluctantly joined her. She had hoped they would be heading straight back to the car, Danielle knew that sitting alone with Roxy would inevitably lead to another awkward chat. Roxy dug through the plastic bag and placed a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich on the table in front of her. "Thought you might want something" Roxy said without looking up, she had anticipated Danielle's confused reaction. Danielle stared at the sandwich for a moment. "Well are you going to eat it or just stare at it?" Roxy joked as she looked up Danielle. "Sorry" Danielle muttered, a smile drew across her face as she opened the sandwich. Roxy had somehow managed to pick her favourite; Danielle couldn't help but wonder whether it was a coincidence or family intuition.

As Danielle opened the sandwich and took a bite Roxy decided to try and start up a conversation; it seemed like a good time as Danielle couldn't interrupt with a mouth full of food. "Look Danielle. I know this isn't going to be easy but we can try and work this out together" Roxy said, smiling gently at Danielle.

"What if it's too late? So much has happened, so much has been said" Danielle admitted sadly. "We can't change what has happened but your family. Me and Amy want you with us and Peggy does too" Roxy said, she stopped herself before she mentioned her sister. She knew it could never be that easy but she needed to get Danielle back to Walford. As Danielle listened to Roxy she too knew that it wouldn't be that easy, but as she stared at her aunt and cousin she realised she owed it to herself to give this new start a chance. But the thoughts of Ronnie never left her mind.

"You're great with Amy, she loves you. Even I can't settle her like you can half the time," smiled Roxy. She needed to get Danielle's trust, some real trust before they got back to Walford. She couldn't risk Danielle bolting again, who knows if she would ever find her if she left again.

"I'm not going to stop bugging you now you know. I've waited nineteen years to be Auntie Roxy and you're going to have to put up with me." Roxy joked, winking at Danielle, trying to get across to her that despite how everyone saw her, Roxy really was dedicated to doing this. She did care.

"If you get too stressed out back home then tell me and we'll jump in the car and we'll go somewhere else. Me, you and Amy will stick together alright?" Roxy watched as Danielle smiled to herself.

"Sorry, Amy, it looks like your cousin Dan can't talk! Big, grumpy, cousin Dan!" Roxy cooed at Amy, with slight glances towards Danielle. She watched as Danielle burst out laughing and took a mucky Amy from Roxy's lap.

"Ok." Danielle said. "We'll be ok. I'll talk to you. Honest." Roxy beamed as Danielle said the words. She knew Danielle still didn't mean it completely, but it was a start. She leapt off her chair and hugged Danielle, squashing Amy slightly between them.

Soon the three made their way back to the car, Amy asleep in Danielle's arms as Danielle hummed and softly sang to her.

Daylight had faded away, the lights from the street lamps and car headlights illuminated the road. Roxy's eyes were starting to feel heavy as tiredness caught up with her. She glanced over to Danielle, who was now sleeping peacefully with her head resting against the window and then back to Amy, whose eyes were also firmly shut. She was relieved to see a road sign directing them to Walford; it meant they were nearly home.


	10. Chapter 10

As Roxy pulled her jeep onto the pavement outside R&R she glanced over to Danielle, who was still peacefully sleeping. Roxy took a moment to listen to her niece breathing, her shoulders shuffling around as she still tried to get comfortable. Part of Roxy wanted to leave Danielle as she was, she knew that the hard work would begin when Danielle awoke and faced Walford once again.

As a harsh wind blew around the streets Roxy realised she had to stop delaying the inevitable, they couldn't just sit in the car forever. She began to slowly shake Danielle, pushing her palm against Danielle's arm. "Dan, wake up" Roxy said softly but Danielle didn't respond, merely grunting and restlessly shuffling her shoulders again. "Danielle" Roxy said louder, not realising the volume of her voice until Danielle's head shot up. "What?" Danielle blurted out, clearly disorientated after been woken from her peaceful sleep so abruptly.

"Sorry, its' just were back in Walford" Roxy said apologetically. "Oh ok" Danielle said, slightly taken aback that the journey had seemed to have gone so quickly. "Was I sleeping that whole time?" Danielle asked as she rubbed her eyes. "Yep and you were muttering something too!" Roxy joked, playfully nudging Danielle's arm.

"Oh I wasn't was I?" Danielle replied, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "No, but the look on your face just then was priceless!" Roxy said through fits of giggles as Danielle pushed her aunt back playfully. Danielle couldn't help laughing a long with Roxy as they drew up outside the Vic. Roxy jumped out the car and opened the back door to retrieve a sleeping Amy from her car seat.

Danielle stayed glued to her seat, looking up at the windows of The Vic. She had been thinking about walking back through the doors for the past four hour car journey and even after she thought she had convinced herself that it was going to be ok, the nerves and fear were starting to return. "C'mon Dan. We will go through the back door" Roxy said, gesturing for Danielle to follow her into the Vic. Danielle took a deep breath and despite the anxiety that was one again re-surfacing, she stepped forward and began to follow Roxy.

As they moved through the doors Danielle could hear the chatter and noise of the people in the bar. She froze on the spot. What was she thinking? Danielle began to panic. All of those people thought she was mad, they had all watched her being thrown out of the Vic by Ronnie, they had all seen it and just watched on. Enjoying the entertainment, the gossip.

Roxy was almost at the stairs when she looked around to see Danielle still as a statue, wide eyed by the door. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Roxy looked on worriedly. The door to the main bar was just off to the side, she wanted to get Danielle upstairs, save her from dealing with any more than was necessary. But the girl looked terrified, Roxy realised that this must be so painful, this was the very building Ronnie had rejected her in.

Danielle stared blankly ahead of her. Those stairs, Archie had forced her down them, her face streaming with tears, Ronnie following behind angrily. She had run out into the pub, and searched, Roxy had been there, Roxy had ignored her, looked at her as if she was sick, just some stupid freak ruining everyone's day.

"I can't do this." Danielle whispered, her whole body began to tremble. She felt like she was going to be sick.

Roxy saw the colour drain from her niece's face. She tried to catch her eye but Danielle was staring flatly at the empty middle distance. Roxy glanced towards the door. She considered grabbing Peggy or Tracey or anyone to just take Amy for a minute while she could comfort Danielle but she couldn't risk taking her eyes off her niece, she was a serious flight risk.

"You can. Nobody else will be around. Just me, you and the missus here, oh and probably Ben." Roxy said. She could feel Amy beginning to stir on her shoulder. The need to do this quickly impressed itself into her more. If Amy started crying then Peggy or Phil might come through and she didn't think Danielle could face anybody else. The longer Danielle stood there the more it looked like she would leave.

Roxy moved towards Danielle and put her arm around the girl's shoulders, Roxy could feel Danielle's entire body shaking and she started to genuinely worry now.

"Dan, we'll do this yeah?" She leant down and kissed the top of Danielle's head. Still Danielle made no acknowledgement. Roxy swept her hand down to grasp Danielle's, stroking her arm comfortingly as she did. She breathed deeply and pulled on Danielle's arm deciding that she had to be firm and take charge before anything happened to distress Danielle more.

She practically pulled Danielle to the stairs and with the hand on the small of her back guided her in front so that she couldn't stop. Roxy struggled to keep pushing Danielle up the stairs with one hand and hold a now waking Amy firmly in the other arm. But she kept her hand resolutely on Danielle's back leading her into Amy's room. She pushed down on Danielle's shoulder wordlessly, forcing her to sit on the chair. Roxy closed the door behind them and handed Amy to Danielle knowing that if she had Danielle try and get her to sleep it would allow her to think of something other than her own fear and it would also allow Roxy to go and grab Danielle a drink and check that nobody else was around upstairs.

"See if you can get her back off yeah? I'm going to get you some water." Roxy spoke bluntly. She realised that she wasn't exactly talking in a comforting tone but her own stress about the situation and worry about Danielle made her slightly frustrated at the girl. The situation was so hard and Roxy wanted to take it out on someone.

Danielle nodded blindly and began to rock Amy in her arms. Roxy rolled her eyes and walked quietly out of the room. Once the door closed behind her she leant herself against it sighing. She didn't want to get angry at Danielle but she was Ronnie's Amy. Roxy just wanted to sort things out. She wasn't used to having to work at things, usually it was so much easier to get her way. This time she didn't even have a clue what she was doing and yet she knew this could take a long time and a lot of hard work. Ronnie had always been the one who had taken responsibility, sorted things out in the long run.

Roxy slowly began to realise that despite her sister's controlling and overprotective nature, she owed her more than she had realised. Ronnie was the one who solved problems, stayed behind and fixed things when they got messy, always clearing up after the wake of destruction that Roxy made in her life. Now Roxy was the one who had to do the same for Ronnie. This was down to Roxy and she was terrified she was going to mess it up.

She slowly unpeeled herself from the door and made her way into the lounge. It was empty. She made her way downstairs quickly to tell Peggy and Phil to stay out of the way for a bit, to let her have some time to try and sort Danielle.


	11. Chapter 11

"You're all I have now" Danielle whispered as she cradled Amy in her arms. "You and your mummy" Danielle added, wanting to acknowledge her gratitude to Roxy even if she was only talking to a baby. As she lay Amy down in her coat she couldn't help but admire her beautiful cousin; her wispy blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes that slowly faded away as her eyes lids shut.

"How you feeling?" Roxy asked gently, slightly nervous of Danielle's response. She had been listening to her niece whispering to Amy for the last few minutes, not wanting to interrupt the moment. Roxy knew that if Danielle was to try and repair her life in Walford then Amy would be an important part of that.

Roxy passed the glass to Danielle as they headed into the lounge. Roxy threw herself onto the couch; Danielle joining her nervously. As she glanced over to see Roxy looking at her Danielle tried to distract herself. She placed the glass on the coffee table and shuffled her eyes round the room instead whilst still feeling the glare of Roxy's stare fixed on her.

Danielle's eyes moved from one object to another; the room felt cluttered to Danielle, so many things crammed into such a small space. But as Danielle concentrated on each item she realised that they were connected to family; from the row of photo frames on the drawer to the collection of family china sitting pride of place on the shelf.

She couldn't help fix her eyes on the photos, the Mitchell family staring back at her. Even though these photos displayed everything that Danielle had ever dreamed of, their presence made her nervous. Each pair of eyes and deceptive smile were reminders of what she had been missing all her life, what she felt she had lost all over again.

The space she had made on the mantle still remained. Danielle choked as she realised that the bag she had packed for Amy was gone from the hallway, along with her photo. She started to cough, trying to hide her momentary panic. She looked resolutely away from Roxy, refusing to even face her, let alone look her in the eye.

"I shouldn't be here," Danielle gulped. "Ronnie threw me out. Not just at the wedding but when I was taking care of Amy. She said she didn't want me here, that I shouldn't go near her family."

"Danielle you are family and this is your home now, if you want it to be?" Roxy asked tentatively, hoping that she wasn't pushing Danielle to fast. Danielle heard Roxy's question, she just wanted the sofa to swallow her up. Even though she knew deep down that the answer was "yes", Danielle couldn't forget the pain and hurt of the last few months. Being in the flat were Ronnie rejected her brought back the painful memories that just wouldn't disappear.

"This is just too much" Danielle muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry you came all that way to pick me up but I can't, I just can't" Danielle said quickly as her legs began to shake, tears once again brimming in her eyes. Danielle went to stand up, ready to run away from everyone and everything until she felt a firm hand take hold of her arm.

"No you don't" Roxy said firmly, pulling Danielle back down onto the sofa. As Danielle fell back onto the seat her body went limb, her body dissolving into the couch as her legs continued to shake. She wanted to get back and just keep running but she felt Roxy leaning over her forcefully, all her weight holding Danielle down.

"I have only just got you back, you're not getting away that easily" Roxy managed to joke. But Danielle wasn't listening. The emotion and strength she had felt had drained away, leaving the broken and scared little girl cowering on the couch. Roxy immediately noticed that it was no time to joke.

"Come here" Roxy whispered gently, leaning forward to wrap her arms around Danielle. Danielle was so pressed into the back of the couch that Roxy could feel herself falling over as she hugged her niece. As she tried to pull away she felt Danielle's arms grip tighter around hers, refusing to let go.

With her body held firmly in place by Danielle Roxy just managed to arc her head round to look at Danielle. She was devastated to see her sobbing hysterically, her body shaking uncontrollably. It was painful enough to watch anyone, any stranger so distressed but when it was someone you loved the pain and sorrow felt ten times worse.

Danielle and Roxy sat opposite each other on the sofa. Roxy had finally managed to peel Danielle off her, making her drink some water to calm down. "What happened between you and Ronnie?" Roxy asked gently, trying to get Danielle to open up and talk about her feelings. But if she was anything like her mother then it would be a hard task.

"She didn't want me, she said...look it doesn't matter ok. It doesn't matter what happened, it's over. I don't care anymore" Danielle admitted. Roxy could see how conflicted Danielle was, whilst the anger still simmered in Danielle, her shaky voice revealed her pain and sadness as she spoke.

"She does want you" Roxy said, trying to reason with Danielle. "And me and Amy want you here" Roxy continued, smiling gently at Danielle. "Giving you up was the worst thing Ronnie ever did, she has regretted it her whole life" As Roxy spoke she noticed Danielle's eyes blink, her face hardening. "She told me that giving me away was the best thing she ever did!" Danielle cried, she felt tears brimming in her eyes once again as they began to trawl over the painful memories.

"She loves you more than anything" Roxy said, lightly stroking her palm over Danielle's tear-stained cheek. "Then why, why did she treat me like that?" Danielle cried again, pulling her head back sharply away from Roxy's hand.

"I don't know everything that happened between you..." Roxy replied. Although it sounded like a hint, part of Roxy didn't want to hear the pain her sister had caused her own daughter. "But when Ronnie lost you she changed, she closed down. She doesn't mean to but she lashes out at the people that get close to her" Roxy admitted, she hated bad mouthing her sister but Danielle deserved the truth.

"Doesn't mean to? She knew what she was doing! She knew...she meant every word. She's heartless. She never wanted me, she told me so. She said that having her baby was the biggest mistake of her life! She, she...." Danielle's voice trailed off. Even though her mind was racing with all the times Ronnie had hurt her, she struggled to get her words out, the memories to painful to describe.

As Danielle broke down Roxy tried to comfort her niece. As she wrapped her arms around Danielle she could feel how cold and distant she still felt. Even after all the anger she was vented about Ronnie, Roxy knew she was the one person Danielle needed more than anyone at the moment.


	12. Chapter 12

Danielle peered out the window, her eyes were fixed on the people walking past but she didn't take in the faces, the voices; her mind was distant. She watched as Jane busied herself outside the cafe, cleaning the tables and Denise opened up the minute mart, getting frustrated as the key jammed in the door lock. Even though Danielle had watched these same people and same things had happened day after day when she worked on the stall, she couldn't help but feel slightly out of place back in Walford. Even though she had returned the same person, people were always going to think differently of her after everything that had happened at the wedding.

"Danielle, you ok?" Danielle heard a soft voice from behind her, making her jump as she snapped out of her daze. She turned to see Roxy in the doorway hugging a dressing gown tightly around her waist, rubbing her eyes whilst she yawned. "See you're a morning person then" Roxy said another thing that reminds her of Ronnie she thought without muttering a word. "Just couldn't sleep" Danielle replied. She had been up since the early hours of the morning, restless and unable to shut her mind off.

Roxy had woken in the double bed alone after having fallen asleep next to her restless niece. As she had registered the empty space beside her, Roxy had immediately worried that Danielle had bolted. She had grabbed her dressing gown as fast as she could and fallen over herself as she's stumbled sleepily through the door, falling back into her normal drowsy state only when she had seen the small figure standing by the window. She couldn't help but wonder, although it had only been one night so far, how long could they keep this up? The constant fear that Danielle would run, keeping the truth from Ronnie, Danielle hiding away from Walford, from the world. It was all so much work, so difficult.

"Want some breakfast?" Roxy asked, ushering Danielle away from the lounge window and towards the kitchen. "We have toast, cereal; I can make you bacon, eggs, sausages...." Danielle managed a small smile as Roxy continued to list the entire contents of her fridge. "Coffee will do thanks" Danielle replied after Roxy finished, catching her breath. "Two coffees coming up then" Roxy said as she busied herself around the kitchen worktops. Danielle cautiously took a seat at the kitchen table as Roxy continued to hurry around her. The situation felt odd to Danielle; a dream that had taken a new direction. Even though she was sitting in the Mitchell kitchen, eating breakfast with her family, it was nothing like Danielle had imagined it.

Danielle sat on the sofa as she heard Roxy moving around in the bathroom. Roxy had told Danielle to "make herself at home" before she went for a shower but however much Danielle tried the situation just felt uncomfortable. She sat perched on the cushion, her legs nervously shuffling on the floor. Danielle couldn't help but feel nervous, which was silly because there was no one else around. Peggy was downstairs setting up the bar with Tracey and Phil and Ben had gone away for the week – kindly giving her a chance to settle in.

As the morning wore on Danielle continued to flick through the endless list of television channels – each one failing to her hold her interest as she held her finger on the remote button. She wasn't really interested in what was on television but it was background noise, Danielle couldn't bear to sit in silence any longer. Roxy had gone down to the bar to help Tracey after Peggy had to head out for a while. She had managed to sit a bit more comfortably on the sofa, her back falling into the cushion more as her nerves started to lessen.

As she reached the end of the hundreds of television channels Danielle turned the television off disappointed, the screen turning to black once again. As she ran her fingers up and down the sofa arm she wondered what she could do. After only seconds of thinking she decided to bravely have a look round her new home, even saying home in her head felt weird to Danielle. As she poked her head nervously through the first door she was greeted by the sight of a peacefully sleeping Amy, her tiny niece wrapped tightly around her bed covers.

As Danielle leaned over the sides of the cot she wanted to reach out and poke Amy, wake her up so she had company, a distraction from the painful silence. But Danielle decided better of it, though she wanted to fill the silence, the sound of a tired and screaming baby probably wasn't the best of ideas. Danielle had spent enough time babysitting Amy to know that whilst she could be an angel, she could also be a handful at the same time.

As Danielle slowly left the room, gently shutting the door behind her in an attempt not to wake her niece she the sound of laughter and banter from downstairs. Danielle cautiously edged closer to the top of the stairs – recognising the familiar voices as they laughed and chatted. Though the sounds made her nerves reignite Danielle slowly began to make her way down the stairs. She knew that she couldn't stay locked up forever, even though she wanted to stay in the comfortable bubble she had started to create. Danielle tried to reassure herself that everything and everyone would be fine, these people were her friends. But as she walked out into the bar she soon felt the glare of the locals eyes burning through her, it felt like a thousand faces all mesmerised by her sudden appearance.

"What the hell is she doing here?" Jack stated forcefully, a protective tone to his voice even though Ronnie wasn't around. Danielle froze as the sound of Jack's harsh voice echoed around the now silent pub, his finger pointing aggressively at her. Without a second though she bolted from the bar, not stopping even when she heard the reassurance of Roxy's voice calling her back.

"Dan, wait!" Roxy called desperately as she instinctively turned on the spot to chase Danielle. But as Roxy turned hoping to comfort Danielle, she was disappointed to find Danielle had already vanished out of sight. "Nice one Jack, thanks a bunch!" Roxy yelled, her face hardening in frustration and anger as she turned to look at a bemused Jack.

"Trace, look after the bar" Roxy ordered as she followed Danielle up the stairs. She found her niece cowering on her bed; the legs tucked up tight to her chin with her arms wrapped her shaking legs. Roxy noticed Danielle clutching her legs, tears streaming down her face. It looked like Danielle was trying to protect herself, huddling into a little ball to try and block out all the pain.

Danielle had heard Roxy approaching but all she could hear in her mind were Jack's words, 'What the hell is she doing here!' That's what they were all thinking, each fixated pair of eyes were wondering as to why the pathetic little freak had returned. Truthfully the question had been looming in the back of her mind since she agreed to return to Walford, she now realised how naive she had been to hope that it would all work out. Jack's aggressive questioning only served to confirm Danielle's fears; she didn't belong here and she never would.


	13. Chapter 13

Roxy paused in the hallway, her eyes fixed on a distraught Danielle that she could see through the open doorway. It pained Roxy to see Danielle so hurt, but even though she had seen her upset many times only in the last few days, Roxy still hesitated, unsure with how to best comfort her distraught niece.

"It's going to be ok" Roxy whispered unconvincingly as she approached Danielle, cautiously stepping closer and closer to her. "How is it going to be ok? Jack just said what everyone else is thinking" Danielle said, her voice muffled as she buried her head into the duvet.

Danielle managed to sit up as Roxy joined her on the bed. "What she said, I can't get it out of my head Roxy" Danielle admitted, her face tarnished with so much sorrow and pain. "She stood right there and believed him, she believed him over me" Danielle screamed as stood up sharply from the bed and lifted her hand to point at the hallway way where Ronnie had painfully rejected her only days before.

"I begged her. I begged her to believe me and she didn't" Danielle cried, shaking her head as she thought back to Ronnie's actions and words that night. "I tried to explain, I tried to explain everything that happened with granddad..." Hearing Danielle call her father granddad turned Roxy's stomach, it was a word that was supposed to be filled with so much love and admiration but all Roxy noticed in Danielle was fear when she mentioned Archie.

"She wouldn't even let me explain" Danielle finished, her head beginning to bow in sorrow as Roxy leant out to try and comfort Danielle. But suddenly Danielle's head shot back up again, as another wave of anger overcame her, Roxy flinched away as Danielle uncoiled and began to trawl over the events again. "And the locket, I had the locket" Danielle said loudly, tapping her hand repeatedly over her neck.

"But if I had just kept it on me, but I put it in her champagne glass. That's what I was looking for when I came down" Danielle said, talking directly to Roxy for the first time. As Danielle continued to recall events Roxy couldn't help pity her young niece, the events of that night more painful than Roxy had ever imagined.

"She said I was dead, she said 'my daughter is dead' like I don't mean anything to her. She just yelled that I wasn't her responsibility." Danielle cried in anguish.

"She didn't believe me. I begged her and she looked at me like she hated me, the look in her eyes. She just screamed at me. She stood right there," Danielle pointed a shaky finger out to the corridor as she screamed out her anguished words. "She stood right there and told me to get out. Told me I wasn't her problem."

Roxy tried to lean out and comfort Danielle but she pulled away, trapped in the cycle of her anger. "Don't Roxy! Just don't. You didn't even try to help, you just sat there and stared at me" Danielle turned her anger and attention momentarily to Roxy. "I was looking for the locket. It was there and you just looked at me with disgust. I just wanted to show her. And you didn't help. None of you helped you all sat there and Jack stopped me and you did NOTHING!" Danielle screamed. Her pain now lashing out violently at everyone who had hurt her.

"Danielle, I'm....." Roxy tried to explain, before she was interrupted by Danielle.

"I screamed and screamed at her and she said I needed help, she said who would want a daughter like me!" Danielle continued to scream, her voice becoming uncharacteristically louder and louder. "How could she say that Roxy? I waited months, years and she threw it all back in my face, like I didn't mean anything. All I ever did was try to get to know her, try to make her like me, make her want me and she told me I was a freak, that she NEVER wanted to see me again. That she didn't want me. She didn't want me!" Danielle continued to rant, becoming flustered and more animated as she spoke. Tears falling from reddened eyes as she wailed and her words ripped out from within her.

"She has destroyed my life, hurt me more than I knew anyone could, I loved her and she told me she didn't want me. She told me I was the biggest mistake of her life, that I was a liar, that I wasn't her responsibility, that she didn't want a daughter like me! She broke my heart!" Danielle screamed so loud that it made Roxy jump slightly, her body leaning back as Danielle tensed up, throwing her arms around wildly. "Everyone thinks she's right. Everyone thinks I lied. She made me look crazy"

"No one thinks you're crazy" Roxy muttered as she listened to Danielle's rant. For the first time Roxy was slightly intimidated by Danielle, she didn't recognise the sweet innocent stall worker anymore, instead she was confronted by a young girl so wounded and hurt that she was lashing out uncontrollably.

"You heard what Jack said. They all think I'm a pathetic freak. I'm so terrified that I can't even step outside and what happened at the wedding just keeps replaying in my head, again and again and again and again and again and again...." Danielle cried, as desperation began to creep into her tone, her body now shaking uncontrollably. Roxy began to panic as Danielle's breathing became her heavy, her face pale and panicked as she rapidly began to lose control.

"Danielle!" Roxy said, standing up from the bed and gripping Danielle's arms, trying to shake her out of her panic. "Danielle please" screamed a terrified Roxy. So frightened of the state that Danielle was in Roxy decided to act impulsively as she threw her arms around Danielle. Roxy was relieved when Danielle collapsed into her chest, forcing Danielle and Roxy to fall back onto the bed. But nothing seemed to soothe Danielle her breathing just became more forced, each breath hurried and wheezing.

"Dan, come on. It's ok." Roxy gasped. She didn't have a clue what to do. She could feel Danielle's whole body shaking more and more violently. Danielle's breaths were harsh and shuddering, each coming faster and more shallow than the last.

Still Danielle didn't calm. Roxy pulled back frightened of how scared Danielle was. She grabbed Danielle's face in her hands. She saw the way her niece's eyes were streaked with terror, her throat contracting as she struggled desperately for breath. The more Danielle panicked, the more terrified she made herself.

"God Danielle breathe. Please. Just breathe." Roxy screamed. She watched as Danielle looked straight into her eyes, just one tear slipping down her cheek as she continued to gasp and splutter for air as her rapid breathing didn't abate. "Close your eyes ok." Roxy cried out desperately, trying to think of anything, anything at all she could say or do to calm Danielle.

"Close your eyes. That's right." She watched as Danielle obeyed her without question, closing her eyes tightly, still trembling harshly. "Just you and me here ok. No-one else. You're SAFE ok. It's just you and me. Just breathe." Roxy knew that no matter what she said, she couldn't hide the fear from her voice. She was still practically screaming at the little girl.

Roxy threw her arms back around Danielle, holding her so tightly, she wanted to stop the shaking. She unconsciously began to rock Danielle back and forth in her arms. She whispered to her,

"Just breathe. In," Roxy took a deep breath, praying Danielle would do the same, "and out."

They carried on this way for what felt to Roxy like an eternity but she slowly began to feel Danielle's breathing slow to make time with hers.

Whilst Danielle's cries didn't subside Roxy heart rate lessened as she held her niece close.


	14. Chapter 14

Roxy leaned back to rest against the head board; a sense of relief overcame her as she glanced over at Danielle sleeping peacefully on the bed. Though the room was now perfectly serene, Amy sleeping in her coat and now Danielle calm in bed, Roxy's hands were still shaking; the image of Danielle's panic stricken face still raw in her mind. Roxy tried to understand where Danielle's panic attack had come from. She knew Danielle had insecurities about returning to Walford but the image of her completely losing control until she was close to collapse, terrified Roxy.

Whilst she was relieved that she had calmed Danielle this time, Roxy worried about what she would do if it happened again. Ronnie had always been the level headed Mitchell sister, the one to turn to in a crisis and both Roxy and Danielle needed her there, now more than ever. Roxy knew Danielle's fears and worries about Walford and Ronnie wouldn't just disappear, her emotions bubbling dangerously close to the surface.

Roxy took a moment to enjoy the peace before she stepped outside, edging down the corridor and into the kitchen; desperately trying not to make any sound that would disturb Danielle or Amy. She pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down, reaching for her mobile phone from her pocket.

Roxy stared at the screen, her finger running over the button as she stared at her sister's name in her address book. Whenever Roxy had needed help she had turned to Ronnie; her big sister that could fix any problems. But with this, the biggest of dilemmas, Roxy was cautious; unsure of whether calling Ronnie was the best idea.

Roxy couldn't help but think it would be a betrayal to Danielle. She had just started to develop a bond with her, and although it was an unconventional bond, built around pain and sorrow, she still felt like she had gained the girls' trust. Any wrong move that upset Danielle could make her bolt, a risk Roxy knew she couldn't take if she was too do what was best for all involved, to reunite Danielle and Ronnie.

Roxy took a deep breath and held her finger on the call button before bringing the phone cautiously to her ear. As the dial tone continued Roxy found herself begging Ronnie to pick up, each beep causing Roxy to tense up, constantly checking that no one was listening in.

The dial tone continued until suddenly she was cut off; the call going dead as Roxy listened intently, part of her hoping to hear her sister's voice. Angered and slightly confused as to why her sister was ignoring her calls, Roxy rang again. After all she was trying to help Ronnie; even if she didn't know it yet.

'You have reached Ronnie Mitchell, sorry I couldn't take your call, please leave a message after the tone' Roxy heard her sister's voice say after she failed to reach her again. Roxy now felt slightly relieved yet disappointed that Ronnie hadn't answered again. She had found the courage to phone Ronnie but she didn't know what to say, how she would begin to explain the events that had unfolded since her departure.

Roxy was woken out of her thoughts by the sound of a beep, a cue for Roxy to try and start to explain. "Ronnie, its Roxy. Look, there is something you need to know. Its well, it's....I just need to talk to you Ron, it's really important. Come home. Please call me back, let me know you're ok" Roxy's voice trailed off as the words stuck in her throat. She wanted to scream the truth down the phone, make Ronnie come back. But she realised that this wasn't the type of revelation to he heard over a voicemail, Ronnie needed to be told the truth face to face. Roxy just hoped she would listen.

Danielle wrapped her arms around the duvet as she began to stir. The glare of the street lamp pierced through the curtains as darkness now started to set in around the Square. Danielle lifted up her wrist to check the time – 8pm. Danielle wondered how it had got so late, the day had seemed to slip by so quickly. Despite the time, she didn't want to move, she wanted to stay curled up amongst the bed sheets forever.

She began to open her eyes; rolling her head on the pillow to take in the scene around her. The bedroom was peaceful but the events from earlier that day began to play on Danielle's mind, she could still feel beads of sweat on her palms. She started to slowly piece together her panicked rant; feeling embarrassed that she had lost control in front of Roxy.

She lifted her head up to look round the room, hoping that Roxy was there so she could apologise. But Danielle was confused to find the room empty, tranquil and eerily quiet. Her heart rate quickened as she began to panic, had Roxy left her? Had she driven Roxy away as well?

Her eyes darted over to Amy's cot but it was empty, a single sheet and cuddly toy were all that lay before her. Danielle sat up, pulling off the bed sheets – they offered little comfort and warmth anymore as Danielle began to convince herself that Roxy and Amy were gone, her family had abandoned her once again.

Danielle left the bedroom; pausing in the hallway as she heard a rustling sound from the kitchen. She cautiously stepped forward, pushing open the kitchen door to see Roxy sat at the table, her fingers drumming against the wood. A sense of relief rushed over Danielle, the sight of her aunt sitting before her made her heart leap.

"Oh hey Dan, you feeling better now?" Roxy asked as she noticed a figure standing in the doorway from the corner of her eye. Looking up she noticed Danielle twitching, her eyes fixed on her, slight panic still etched across her face. "Are you ok?" Roxy asked, worried that the sleep hadn't helped Danielle.

As Roxy stood up she was taken aback as Danielle flung herself forward, wrapping her arms around Roxy tightly. The warm embrace puzzled Roxy; whilst Danielle's tears had stopped she could still feel her niece shaking slightly, clinging to her desperately. "Hey, what's all this? It's ok," Roxy said gently, pulling away from Danielle.

"I'm really sorry Roxy, for freaking out on you earlier," Danielle said apologetically, hoping desperately that her actions hadn't pushed Roxy away. "It's ok, you have been through a lot, I understand" Roxy said kindly, offering a small smile to Danielle. Although she said she understood, Roxy was slightly surprised by Danielle's actions. Roxy soon began to realise how much Danielle needed her, how hard it must have been for Danielle to place all her trust in a Mitchell.

"It all just got on top of me and I just wanted to say sorry. I am really grateful for what you have done for me, its means a lot" Danielle said. She wanted to Roxy to know how grateful she was; after all she was the only real family she had.

Roxy smiled at Danielle again, reaching out to touch Danielle's arm in acknowledgment. She wanted to say something sweet back, try and reassure Danielle that it was all going to be ok. But Roxy felt guilty, not long ago she had phoned Ronnie; come close to telling her everything. Although Roxy knew getting Ronnie to come back was for Danielle's own good she couldn't help but feel guilty, it felt like she was betraying Danielle. Her frail niece had opened up and trusted her and she had gone behind her back.

"Where is Amy?" Danielle asked as Roxy stood deep in thought. "Oh, Jack came and took her for the night," Roxy said, grateful of the opportunity to take her mind off the guilt and worries. "Do you want something to eat?" Roxy asked as she leant against the kitchen cupboards.

"Not that I can really make you much, cooking isn't really my thing" Roxy confessed, cheekily smiling at Danielle. "Oh I love cooking. I used to do it all the time at home. I used to make a great Sunday roast with my dad, then cake for afters" Danielle enthused, happy to immerse herself in memories of happier times.

Roxy noticed Danielle perk up, her face softening as she began to relax. "Well why don't we make one now, a cake that is. Sunday Roast might be pushing it!" Roxy joked, happy to see Danielle giggling with her.

"Do you know how to make a cake?" Danielle asked, slight sarcasm creeping into her tone. "That's why you're here, you can show me." Roxy said jokingly, throwing Danielle a packet of cake mix that she had retrieved from the back of the kitchen cupboard.

As Danielle began to stir the ingredients Roxy couldn't help but stare at her, amazed at how on one hand she was so much like Ronnie; responsible and caring, whilst on the other hand completely different, Roxy was sure she had never seen Ronnie ever make a cake.

Roxy took another bite out of the chocolate bar as she watched Danielle working at the kitchen table, stirring vigorously as she read over the box instructions. With the cake mix now complete, Danielle turned to look at Roxy, expecting to see the chocolate broken up and ready to add to the mix.

"You know we need to have some chocolate left to add to the cakes?" Danielle joked as she looked at Roxy, who had a half eaten chocolate bar getting closer to her mouth once again. Roxy rolled her eyes jokingly at Danielle before she moved the chocolate away from her mouth, walking over to Danielle.

She leaned over Danielle's back, resting her hands on her shoulders as she dipped her finger into the bowl of cake mix. Licking her finger, she took another dip before suddenly smearing the cake mix on Danielle's nose.

"Oi!" Danielle squealed as Roxy pulled away, laughing at the sight of a flustered Danielle with cake mix on her nose. "What you going to do about it?" Roxy replied, winking at Danielle. "You're going to pay for that" Danielle joked, dipping her finger into the mix herself before edging closer to Roxy, her finger heading for Roxy's face.

Before they had stopped to realise, Roxy and Danielle had destroyed the kitchen, the walls smeared with flour and their faces covered in cake mix.

"Thanks for that, Roxy." Danielle said softly as they sat opposite each other at the kitchen table. "You don't have to thank me, I had fun too. And I defiantly think I have mastered how to make cup cakes" Roxy joked, as she licked more cake mix off her fingers.

"They look really good." Danielle said as she looked at the two chocolate cupcakes sitting in the centre of the kitchen table. "Shame we couldn't make more!" Roxy joked. "Well that's what we get when we eat half the ingredients and throw the rest at each other!" Danielle joked sarcastically, cheekily smiling at Roxy. For a moment, Roxy thought she saw some of herself in Danielle.

"I need a shower, I think I have chocolate icing down my top," Roxy joked as she peered down at her chest. "You go relax and watch TV or something, we'll get Peggy to do the washing up later," Roxy said, winking at Danielle. As Roxy stood up and headed for the door she paused at Danielle, leaning down to kiss the top of her head as she passed. Roxy hadn't even planned such a gesture, it felt like a natural move; Danielle finally felt part of the Mitchell family.

Danielle sat alone it the kitchen, a wide smile now firmly plastered across her face. The day may not have started well but Danielle was happy to forget her fears and worries, she was as happy as she had ever been and she was desperate to hold onto that.

The screen on Ronnie's phone flashed along with the lights as the pounding music swept through her body. She stared at the screen her face hardening as she remembered the "happy family" she had left behind in Walford...

Her thumb firmly pressed the ignore button and she slipped the phone back into her pocket...

From the thronging crowds, the heaving mass of bodies that surrounded Ronnie she felt a body pressed firmly against her back. Her head turned and lips found her neck as strong arms enclircled her waist. She tilted her head to allow him greater access and pushed herself backward, every inch of her pressed intensely against him. Her phone vibrated against her leg. It was ignored.

Her back up against the wall, Ronnie arched forwards, feeling her chest pressing against his. The bed was only metres away but neither had any desire to make it that far. Her hands scrabbled to push his already open shirt off his shoulders as she moaned into his mouth. His hand brushed her face softly.

_Jack's hands._

He was too gentle, she fisted her hand in his hair, pulling his head back roughly. She didn't want him to be gentle. She didn't want to be revered, she wanted to forget. To empty her mind of the man who still held her heart.

_Forget Jack. This is better_.

He grabbed her hip, fingers hard enough to bruise as his mouth gave sharp bites across her collarbone. She panted out breaths as she felt her body writhing against his.

A gentle sheen of sweat that covered her leg as she wrapped it around his hips.

_It was never like this with Joel. Father of my baby. My baby._

She squeezed her eyes shut. Why did her mind keep doing this? Why couldn't she just forget? She wanted to lose herself in the moment. Feel alive once again.

Digging her nails harshly into his back she pushed her hips forward, a silent demand, _NOW_.

As her second leg wrapped around his hips she locked her ankles behind his back.

"_You have to believe me. I'm Amy! I'm YOUR Amy!"_

A swift bite to his neck. She needed to cause pain too. Her back hit the wall again and again.

"_NO, the agency got it wrong!"_

Tongues fought for dominance as bodies did the same in the endless rhythm, the harsh and loveless dance.

Her eyes opened and stared sightlessly at him before closing again to throw her head back in a gasp.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N --- This is a joint fic with JennyK buuuut....I have to say that Adia Rose wrote this chapter. I am stupidly proud of this chapter. I think it's the best thing I've written in ages and I'm a little bit in love with the chapter.**

**Really looking forward to seeing what you all think.**

* * *

Ronnie scanned the darkened room as she peeled herself away from damp sheets and tried to edge carefully off the bed, not wanting to wake the man next to her. She scanned her mind for a name but none came. Only Jack's.

Barefoot and trying her best to cover herself, she picked through the debris of the room. Her jeans crumpled by the door she had ended up against, a shoe perched on the edge of a desk teetering all night, on the brink of falling it had somehow stayed. Knickers that had been ripped and thrown carelessly across the room were now trapped under a hairy leg on the edge of the bed. Ronnie didn't bother with them. They were torn anyway and would only serve as a reminder of a night she had used to forget that was now in the list of things to be forgotten.

She grabbed the clothes that she could find into a bundle in her arms. Suddenly her hand flew to her neck, checking for the one thing that she needed. It was there, the reassuring weight around her neck, weighing her down and keeping her strong in equal measure.

_"The locket. I've got one just like it. It's got a picture of you in it from when you were little."_

Ronnie closed her eyes and let out a loud exhale before spinning to check that her latest mistake was still asleep. She had kept her locket on the whole time. That thought made Ronnie's stomach turn. What would Amy think of a mother like her. She'd be ashamed, disgusted. Ronnie felt it about herself. But this was what she needed. To forget. Even if in reality she forgot nothing.

Snatching her phone from the floor where it had fallen she looked once more around the unfamiliar room before turning on her heel and making her way out into the Mediterranean morning. It was still dark, Ronnie checked her phone. 5am. Soon it would be dawn. Another day in an endless trail. Tonight would be different. Tonight she would wake up in her own bed. It was a lie but one that she made to herself nonetheless.

Her skin was still clammy, shared sweat mingled and still clinging to her body making her clothes stick to her as the wind blew off the sea. She made her way to the beach. She wasn't ready to go home yet. As much as she wanted a shower and some decent sleep, she wasn't prepared to be confined with only her own company, trapped within an empty apartment. She would be alone here too. But there was the chance of a passing distraction out here.

She tried to convince herself that she was referring to the beach over her apartment but she knew that she meant something far deeper. It was Ibiza instead of Walford. It was running away instead of staying to watch the causes of her pain. It was getting lost in a stream of men and alcohol, endless nights of mindless music and emotionless sex. She wondered if this was how Roxy felt when she had done the same. Had her little sister felt this lost? Had she too been escaping something far greater than the trivial lies that they told each other was the real problem.

The problem with Ronnie wasn't Jack. It was what he represented. Another thing she watched slip away. Another person stolen from her. Another chance taken and snatched away by the people who were meant to protect her.

Ronnie sniffed back tears as she sat hugging her legs to her chest on the wet sand. The water splashed onto her toes with each ebb and flow of the tide. Would it wash away some of the guilt? Perhaps. Would it take away the pain? Never.

There was so much that was lost. Her baby, her little Amy, the most precious thing in the world. Jack, the only man she had ever truly loved, the chance of a future of a family with him. Her baby sister, the one she had mothered the one who had always needed her so much. She wasn't needed any more. The child, the woman she had used as a replacement, the one she had protected and mothered didn't need her anymore. There was nothing left in Ronnie's life. Nobody needed her.

She had lost control. All of the times she had watched Roxy drinking her way into numbness, using men like her personal drug. She had tried so hard to protect her. But when there was nothing left to protect, Ronnie had just fallen into the very pattern she had admonished.

Now Roxy had it all. She had the man that should have been Ronnie's. She had the baby, the beautiful Amy...she had a family. People who loved her, who relied on her. She had earned her sister's contempt by being everything that Ronnie wanted to be. Most of all a mother.

What did Ronnie have to go back to? What could she do now? She was entirely lost. Lost to herself and lost to the world. All that was left in Walford was pain. The memories of the possibilities.

_"I'm her. I'm Amy. I'm Your Amy." _

Why did those words keep stabbing at her? Because she wanted them to be true. Ronnie knew it. It was selfish. It wouldn't have helped Danielle to pretend. She was clearly disturbed, troubled. But for a moment Ronnie had believed her and for the whole time she had wished, prayed that it could be true. That she could have that chance, just the chance of what she had always wanted. But it was never meant to be. She was never meant to have that.

Ibiza was easier. She could throw herself into work. She certainly knew how to use the resources. And oh she used them well. Every night, every day she used them to block out everything that she was running from. And yet she had no idea where she was running to. There was nothing to run to. Just an emptiness.

Set out before her like the restless waves was...nothing. Nothing at all. And yet she still chose to keep running towards it. Ronnie stretched her legs out and the water lapped up to her knees, soaking into her jeans and weighing her down. She didn't want to be weighed down any more. She'd lived that way for too long. She got to her feet and began to walk. Not to home, not to anywhere, just walking.

Her spindly heels she had worn out the night before were clutched in her hand and her bare feet sank into the sand as she walked. If she stood still maybe she would keep sinking, she couldn't stop. Couldn't let herself stop. She had to keep walking. One foot before the other. Walking away, away from everyone and their pathetic lies. Away from the callous betrayal. Away from stupid little brats dredging up the past. Away from selfish slags who didn't need her any more.

Away from the loss, away from the pain. Her feet pounded the sand. She hadn't even noticed when she had began to run but she couldn't stop. If she stopped it might catch up to her. She might have to face the pain. No. Keep running. Keep moving. If you keep moving on it won't hurt. It can never get you. Just keep moving. Never stop. Never stop. Faster, harder. Just like every night she had spent with the faceless men who would pound away her grief. Who would make her shake until she could forget his face.

Don't' stop. Keep running. Keep moving. It. Just. Hurts. Too. Much. On and on it hurts it hurts and running does nothing but stopping isn't an option now. A bare rock face ahead. No pathway, high tide. No way to the next bay. Can't turn back. No way up to the cliff. Dead end. Ronnie's feet kept their furious pace even as her mind slowly realised that there was nowhere left to run. There was a choice. Turn back or run out, out into the sea and never look back.

Outwards, onwards. No turning back. Nothing left. Nothing left. Nothing to go back for. Keep running. Dead end. A dead end. Ronnie wanted to scream that that wasn't supposed to happen. There couldn't be a dead end. She had to keep moving. She didn't want to feel. Didn't want to have to look back. To face the hurt. She'd lost the only child she'd ever really had. Her little sister who she had practically raised who now betrayed her and took away the only man the only chance of motherhood Ronnie had ever felt close enough to grasp and with it she took away herself, the only sense of motherhood Ronnie had ever been allowed to have.

Feet splashed into the water. She didn't remember making the decision to go on. But perhaps there hadn't been a decision to even make. Maybe there really was no turning back. Water at her ankles too quickly rose to knees.

_"He's the father of my child!" _

It's not FAIR! Ronnie crashed to her knees in the water, the waves around her chest, she was in too deep or perhaps it wasn't deep enough. There was no distinction any more. So long in control and no longer any semblance of it.

A single clear thought.

She grabbed her locket and held it out of the water. She would not let this be destroyed as well. Never. Not ever.

Her baby, her Amy. Drowned in the bath. The irony was enough to make Ronnie sick. Or at least draw a hysterical laugh. But none came. No tears, no laughter.

Stand. Just stand and walk away. Go back. Clear up the mess like you always do.

And yet her feet made no effort to move. One arm up out of the water, dripping as it held the only piece of the past she was desperately clinging to. Except it wasn't. The past she ran from, the pain that it held was all still what she couldn't let go. Without it, without Jack, Roxy, Amy, her own baby, even though they were all gone, all out of reach in their own way, they meant everything. Always would.

Walking from the waves Ronnie's body dripped. Water ran down her arms and legs, her clothes clinging to her body like a second skin. Her own personal baptism. Had it washed away the sins of the past?

Ronnie laughed wryly at the prospect. Nothing could. The hatred, the guilt, the sadness, the weakness none had washed away. But the desire to run. That had floated away, mere flotsam and jetsam to the restless tide.

No more running. No more hiding. another lie. She was always hiding, behind the shield, the facade. Hiding behind the control and the anger, the smart comments, the untouchable routine. Even the cold waters could not wash it away. Cold cannot wash away ice. It would only freeze it further, cement it into place.

For a minute. Just a minute she had given up the mask and let herself go, given herself over to the pain. She had heard the call, to come away, like a child lost to the promises of a stranger. Whispers of the waters and the wilds. So tempting.

The mask was once again firmly in place. No baptism could erase the past. No god could save her, no salvation would be offered. This was life. This was reality. And she had to face it. Because running did nothing. There was always a dead end. Always an end to the journey and then the pain would be there waiting.

One foot after another. No longer pounding, no longer scrambling for purchase and the sands slipped beneath them. Now they padded slowly. One in front of the other. Back to routine. Back to control. Back to the lie.

Ronnie saw her phone lying on the sand. It must have fallen as she ran. She picked it up. Water dripping onto the screen. A nearby bench provided a rest, a shelter from the movement. Frenetic escape became determined control.

One message. Come home. Not a question, a plea. Her little girl, her Roxy needed her. Could she turn her back. Turn away like Roxy had done?

Roxy's voice, a bleep...the pressure to speak. To voice feelings she couldn't even decipher herself.

"I'll come home soon Roxy. But you're fine there without me. You don't need me to sort anything out. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. Until then, just don't speak to me."

Hatred she didn't feel. It wasn't hatred. Yes it was bitter, twisted but it was loss, sorrow. A grief for a loss that she could never truly grieve. How can you mourn the loss of something that never existed. How can you lose something you never had?

A gentle kiss to a glistening keepsake. A reverent brush of lips to a mere memory. A memory that had begun to fade long ago.

I miss you.


	16. Chapter 16

"_But you're fine there without me. You don't need me to sort anything out_." Roxy kept playing Ronnie's voicemail again and again, trying to figure out what her sister meant. She could hear how cold and resigned to lose, her sister was in the message; each word sounding distant and filled with sorrow. As she listened down the phone again all Roxy wanted to do was shout, scream the truth, and tell Ronnie how much everyone did need her.

But once again Roxy's thoughts were interrupted by that final bleep; a single sound cutting her off from her sister. Ronnie's last words rang in her mind, _"Until then, just don't speak to me". _She sounded so angry and bitter, her order so final that her words stuck in Roxy's mind.

Roxy began to wonder if Ronnie was telling the truth, was she ever going to come back? Even though she had started to bond with Danielle she knew that it couldn't stay the same forever. Danielle had come back for Ronnie; even though she didn't admit it and reacted badly to any mention of her name. Just as much as Danielle needed and wanted Ronnie, Roxy began to realise that Ronnie desperately needed her baby, she needed Danielle.

Whilst Roxy desperately wanted Ronnie to return she couldn't help but worry about how events would unfold if she did. Ronnie had left so suddenly and by the voice mail, Roxy could tell her sister was angry and bitter. A heated confrontation with Danielle was the last thing that either of them needed; another reason for them to fall further apart. Although Danielle was starting to feel more relaxed and happy Roxy dreaded the thought of when coming face to face with Ronnie; Danielle might not be able to forgive her. They had parted on such bad terms the night of the wedding, so many unanswered questions and hurtful accusations still lingered in the air. Roxy knew that if Ronnie did return; she needed to make her listen to Danielle, believe the truth that was standing in front of her and finally let her in.

"Morning" A chirpy voice called as they entered the kitchen; a voice filled with a sense of reignited happiness and enthusiasm Roxy noticed. "Morning Dan" Roxy replied, arcing her head round to smile at her niece as she put the kettle on. "How long have you been up?" Danielle asked, rubbing her eyes and running her hand through her hair. "Not long" Roxy said, slipping the phone into her dressing gown unnoticed.

Danielle brushed the remaining flour of the kitchen worktops. She giggled to herself, bemused as to how they had made so much mess but the remnants of the cakes acted as a happy reminder of how much fun she had had with Roxy yesterday.

"So what you doing today?" Roxy asked, hoping to distant herself from her worries about Ronnie. "Nothing much planned" Danielle replied vaguely. Her heart rate quickened as she worried that Roxy might press her about leaving the house and facing Albert Square. "Good, because I got a feeling Aunty Peg might be organising a family meal" Roxy said. A sense of relief washed over Danielle at Roxy's reply before she had time to process the idea of a Mitchell family meal.

Roxy turned her head round to examine Danielle's reaction, worried that she might be petrified of the idea. She knew how daunting and out of control a Mitchell family get together could be and she was pretty sure that the whole Square, including Danielle, knew too.

"Sounds good" Danielle muttered as she sat at the table opposite Roxy, a plate of toast and mug of tea in her hands. "Really?" Roxy asked, slightly shocked at Danielle's enthusiasm for the idea. Even now Roxy always dreaded Mitchell family meals – they couldn't get through a do without an insult being thrown or someone storming out.

Danielle noticed Roxy's surprised reaction, her brow furrowed and eyes wide with shock. Although Danielle knew that the Mitchell's had a reputation for dramatic family events – memories of the wedding flicked in and out of Danielle's mind almost instantaneously – she optimistically saw it as an opportunity to finally feel part of the Mitchell family; a desire so strong that it had lead her back to Walford.

"Yeah well it will be nice, finally have a proper chat with Peggy. Will Phil and Ben be there?" Danielle asked curiously. "Don't think so, they are still in Spain as far as I know" Roxy muttered. Danielle's face dropped slightly at the news. Ben had always seemed like a friendly boy and although she was slightly scared of Phil, they were her family too and Danielle was desperate to feel at home and part of the Mitchell fold. She couldn't help feel guilty that they had been forced to go away so she could settle in; it was another anxious worry weighing heavy on Danielle's mind.

Roxy failed to notice Danielle's hurt as she buried her head in a bowl of cereal. "Well I know Aunty Peg is desperate to talk to you. But I warn you, once she starts talking and asking questions she will never stop" Roxy joked, smiling as she looked up at Danielle. Danielle forced a smile on her face, pushing the worries to the back of her mind. "I don't mind, I want to get to know her. She is my family after all" Danielle replied happily.

Roxy's smile grew wider as she tightly wrapped her hand around Danielle's free hand, which was resting on the kitchen table, delighted at how happy and content Danielle now seemed when acknowledging the Mitchell's as family.

"Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help Mrs Mitchell?" Danielle asked for the third time in the last hour. Each time Peggy had ordered her to go back into the lounge and relax but Danielle couldn't help but ask again, she didn't want to feel like a burden. Danielle turned to leave the kitchen once again before Peggy interrupted. "Oh and Danielle" Danielle turned her head sharply at the sound of her name. "You're family, call me Peggy" Peggy joked, her voice firm yet warm and friendly as she spoke to the newest member of the Mitchell family.

Danielle offered a weak smile before shuffling away and into the lounge, feeling embarrassed by her mistake. Even though she knew she should call her Peggy, the words Mrs Mitchell always slipped from her mouth before she had a chance to stop them, a force of habit that Danielle had grown accustomed to out of good manners over the last seven months.

"Roxy love, this is a family meal, not a barn dance" Peggy moaned as she hurried over to re-arrange the cutlery on the table that Roxy had just laid. Roxy rolled her eyes and leant back on the kitchen cupboards, making it clear she was now tired of helping Peggy prepare. Peggy hurried round the kitchen and Roxy; lifting baking trays full of roast potatoes out of the oven whilst dishing out slices of meat onto the plates.

"You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble Aunty Peg. It is only us three you know?" Roxy asked, bemused at the mountains of food that were building up in dishes around the kitchen. "It's Danielle's first proper family meal and even though it is only the three of us I want to make it special, get to know her better" Peggy stated firmly. She was hurt by the fact that Danielle had been lingering around so long unnoticed, cleaning the toilets for her. This friendly young girl was a Mitchell now and Peggy was determined to get to know her better, welcome her properly into the family.

"Go and call Danielle in love" Peggy ordered as she checked the table one last time. Roxy rolled her eyes, turning on her heels to go and get Danielle from the lounge. "Dan, its ready" Roxy called, she could see Danielle sitting on the sofa, her back turned as she looked at her from the doorway. "Dan" Roxy called again, frustrated that she was being ignored. She walked over to the sofa, turning her head round to face Danielle. Roxy was surprised to see her niece fast asleep, her eyes shut as she rested peacefully against the sofa arm.

Roxy knew she could just try and gently wake Danielle up but this seemed like a too good opportunity to miss, a cheeky grin grew across Roxy's face as she darted from lounge into the kitchen. "What you doing with those?" Peggy asked confused as Roxy rushed into the kitchen, picking up a dish of Brussels sprouts. "No one likes them anyway" Roxy joked as she darted out of the kitchen with the dish.

She paused in the doorway, creeping quietly towards Danielle. She slowly picked up a sprout and threw it at Danielle. The sprout brushed against her arm as it flew past, causing Danielle only to stir. Roxy picked up another and threw it again, the sprout this time having the desired effect as it hit Danielle square on the forehead, causing her to jolt up suddenly. "Oi, wake up sleepy head!" Roxy shouted as Danielle sat up, brushing her hair away from her face.

Danielle eyes fixed on Roxy, confused as to why she had been woken up and why her aunt was standing in front of her with a Brussels sprout in her hand and a mischievous grin plastered across her face. "Did you just throw a Brussels sprout at me?" Danielle joked, managing to smile as she looked on the floor to see two sprouts under the coffee table and then back to a very pleased looking Roxy.

"And what if I did?" Roxy replied cheekily as she picked up another handful of Brussels sprouts, pretending to aim them at Danielle. Roxy could see Danielle pausing for a moment, obviously trying to think of a witty response. Danielle sat still for only a second, deep in thought, before bolting up from the sofa and heading straight at Roxy, who promptly ran from the room in fits of laughter.

Roxy continued to run, laughing uncontrollably whilst trying to balance a dish of Brussels sprouts in her hand. She could feel Danielle's breath on the back of her neck and hear the sound of her laughter as her niece caught up with her. Roxy couldn't help but remember the times that she and Ronnie had chased each other round, laughing and joking. Roxy stopped suddenly as she reached the top of the stairs, crashing into the wall as she came to a sudden halt. Danielle crashed against Roxy; she slammed her hands against the wall as she too had trouble stopping in time.

The impact of Danielle running into her caused Roxy to lose her balance, her legs beginning to wobble as she stood precariously close to the flight of stairs. As she leant against the wall to steady herself she could feel the dish slipping from her grasp, the china smashing against the floor as Brussels sprouts began to roll down the stairs.

Despite the mess they had caused Danielle and Roxy couldn't stop laughing at the sight of the Brussels sprouts skipping down the stairs, each one flying off in a different direction as they reached the bottom. "What is going on?" Peggy's voice rung in their hears as they turned to face an unimpressed Peggy, who was standing before them with her hands on her hips, her face hardened and eyes narrowed. Roxy slowly picked up the china dish that had managed to stay in one piece, only a small crack to show for the fall, and handed it to Peggy.

"Where are the sprouts?" She asked confused, looking from the empty dish back to the girls. Danielle and Roxy were managing to just about control their fits of laughter, but they both wore a similar cheeky smile, their eyes beaming at Peggy as they both looking liked naughty school children who had just been caught out.

"Down the stairs" Roxy muttered under her breath. As Peggy peered over the banister to see the tiny sprouts dotted over the floor below she rolled her eyes, shaking her head before carrying the empty dish back into the kitchen. "Worse than kids sometimes" Danielle and Roxy could hear Peggy muttering as she walked away.

"It's just Roxy really didn't want any Brussels sprouts" Danielle called out jokingly, even taking herself by surprise. She had just been told off by Peggy Mitchell, a woman she had come to fear and respect in equal measures since she came to Walford, yet Danielle was feeling surprisingly relaxed. "Oi, your getting cheeky you are" Roxy joked, winking and nudging Danielle playfully as she passed and headed to the kitchen. Danielle followed, a huge smile spread across her face.


	17. Chapter 17

Danielle edged closer to Roxy, shuffling her chair so she be closer to her. Sitting round the table Danielle's nerves built again as she felt Peggy looking at her expectantly. "A nice proper family meal" Peggy said as she sat down. "Its good to have you love. To think all the months and we never knew" Peggy continued. Danielle began shifting awkwardly as she felt the attention being drawn to her secrecy, as if she was being blamed for keeping quiet for so many months.

Roxy took hold of Danielle's hand as she noticed her tense up, gripping tightly under the table. "Do help yourself to anything love" Peggy said kindly. The three sat in an awkward silence as they begun to eat, each pair of eyes darting from one face to another. As Roxy glanced at Peggy she could see her bursting with questions, Peggy getting ready to interrogate an already nervous Danielle. To give her niece time to settle in Peggy's company Roxy interjected and with a mouth full of food, she began a rant about her latest possible conquest on the square much to Peggy's disapproval.

The conversation kept flowing throughout the meal, Danielle content to sit and listen as Roxy and Peggy chatted away happily. As Roxy paused to pour herself another drink Peggy turned to Danielle, grasping her opportunity to learn more about the newest Mitchell. "So what was it like growing up in Telford then?" Danielle paused for a moment before beginning. "It was quiet but a nice place to grow up, a lot different from London though" Danielle replied. Peggy began to quiz Danielle about her adoptive family and childhood and Danielle soon became more comfortable, opening up and relaxing as she spoke about her past.

Roxy sat and listened to Danielle talk about her childhood, happily learning more about Danielle's life. Roxy was surprised to see how happy and care free Danielle seemed, a far cry from the distraught and shy girl that Roxy remembered. As Danielle told Peggy about her first school play at grammar school and enjoying horse riding when she was younger Roxy couldn't help but wonder, given all the opportunities Danielle had, if the right choice had been made all those years ago. But even though Danielle had enjoyed plenty of privileges, it couldn't make up for Ronnie's pain and grief over losing her child. Roxy's mind drifted onto how Danielle's life would have been different if she had stayed with Ronnie, would she have been the same girl?

Lost in her own thoughts Roxy failed to notice Peggy changing the subject of conversation. "So when is Ronnie coming back? She must be excited to see you?" Peggy asked. "How should I know, she doesn't even know who I am" Danielle stated defensively. "What, you haven't told her!" Peggy shouted, turning to glare at Roxy for answers. Danielle glanced at Roxy too, looking for her to explain.

"Roxy!" Peggy snapped accusingly, shaking Roxy from her reverie.

Roxy looked at Peggy and then towards Danielle, both faces looking expectantly at her. Peggy was looking confused and cross, expecting Roxy to have had the common sense and the sheer compassion to tell Ronnie about Danielle as soon as she had found out. Danielle on the other hand was looking meekly at her aunt, hoping that Roxy would come to her aid.

"What?" Roxy grunted, slightly harassed at the stares both women were fixing her with.

"Do you mean to tell me you haven't told Ronnie yet?" Peggy said, a tone of accusation in her voice as she pointed her finger firmly at Roxy. When had this all become Roxy's fault? She slightly taken aback by the strength of Peggy's tone and pleading looks that Danielle was giving her as she glanced back and forth between the pair.

"I'm handling it Auntie Peg," Roxy said, shooting a reassuring glance at Peggy, hoping she wouldn't be quizzed further about her sister. Roxy avoided eye contact with Danielle who was still staring at her, trying to work out what Roxy meant.

"You have to tell her, she deserves to know. She's been here for months and no-one bothered to tell Ronnie then." Peggy ranted, her eyes fixed on Roxy's.

Roxy worriedly glanced at Danielle, hoping that Peggy's comment hadn't upset her fragile niece. Peggy also turned to stare at Danielle, both women turning their attention onto her as if they only just remembered that she was still in the room.

Danielle wanted to shout back, explain that she has tried to tell Ronnie but the pressure of the moment stopped Danielle, her confidence drained by the sight of an angry Peggy staring intently at her. The intensity of their penetrating looks and lingering accusations made Danielle abruptly drop her knife and fork, the steel crashing against the china of the plate and echoing through the deathly silence. She stood suddenly and bolted from her chair, leaving Roxy and Peggy in the kitchen.

"What was all that about?" Peggy asked confused by Danielle's behaviour. Roxy had her head in her hands, heaving a sigh at the fact that once again Danielle had crumbled.

"She's just really weird about Ronnie at the moment, she won't talk about her. After everything that happened at the wedding. You saw how Ronnie was with her, what she said. Danielle thinks Ronnie hates her and the only way I managed to even get her back here was when I told her Ronnie wasn't here." Roxy was becoming animated in her frustration but kept her voice to a stage whisper, albeit an angry one, trying to make Peggy understand.

"But love, Ronnie's heart's been broken over that girl," Peggy exclaimed, shocked that Roxy would keep something so important from her own sister. "After Archie and everything he's put this family through it should be obvious that secrets are no good. Now you call Ronnie and tell her the truth!" Peggy stated her words with finality.

"Auntie Peg, Danielle is a mess," Roxy whispered, leaning over the table, making sure that Danielle couldn't overhear her. "One mention of Ronnie and she runs or shuts down or like stops breathing!" Roxy was exclaiming in dramatic whispers, her gesticulations making up for the lack of volume.

"If I tell her Ronnie's coming back she'll run. She'll run and she won't be coming back. And I can't let her do that. I promised her I'd be there for her." Roxy leant back in her chair as she stopped her offensive on her aunt and gave herself in to simply sharing her worries.

"I mean what would Ronnie want me to do? She'd want me to take care of her daughter wouldn't she?" Roxy got slowly louder as she hit on a point that she could be certain of.

"I know that she needs to know the truth but Danielle isn't ready yet. If Ronnie comes back now Dan isn't strong enough to face her. I can't tell Ronnie over the phone, she'd fall apart. I need to do it face to face but Ronnie will lay into Dan if she comes home to find her here. The second Dan knows that Ronnie's coming home she'll fall apart and she'll leave and I can't do that to Ronnie. 'Cause if Danielle leaves she won't come back. I need to get her sorted and ready to face Ronnie first." Roxy had been rambling, not quite incoherently but definitely rambling. She had hardly taken a breath as she let the words tumble from her mouth without thinking, her voice steadily rising as she became slightly flustered.

"You tell your sister the truth Roxanne Mitchell. There can't be anymore secrets in this family. I've had enough of them. If you don't tell her soon I'll tell her myself," Peggy snapped before leaving her seat and starting to clear plates from the table. Roxy had shrunk slightly under her aunt's scolding and sat slumped in her chair. She was being the responsible one and yet she still felt like the naughty child being told off. She huffed indignantly and strutted herself out of the room, putting on an air of nonchalance before her shoulders  
slumped again realising she now had to deal with her upset niece. How did she become trapped in the middle of all this?


	18. Chapter 18

Danielle shuffled round the living room, wandering awkwardly as she tried to compose herself. She regretted running from the kitchen but Peggy's stares and probing questions had started to suffocate Danielle; running away was the only way she knew how to cope at the moment.

But part of Danielle knew that Peggy was right, she was asking the question that was hanging over Danielle and casting doubt over any potential happiness for her in Walford. Once again, like so many other times when she was in the room, Danielle found herself drawn to the collection of family photos on the cabinet. Although the smiles brought pain to Danielle she couldn't help but stare at them, the collection of frames intrigued her as her eyes ran over the faces.

Danielle's hand slipped from frame to frame, as she ran her fingers over the photos. Instinctively her hand stopped at a picture of Ronnie; cradling Amy in her hands. Danielle picked up the photo, her eyes lost in the loving stare of Ronnie. The photo reminded Danielle that over the last few months, the times she had observed Ronnie from afar, the only time she had seen a spark in her eyes and a truly happy smile spread across her face, was when she was with her niece Amy. A small smile started to creep onto Danielle's face, the edges of her mouth slowly rising as she got lost in the photo.

"Dan" Roxy whispered cautiously from the doorway. The sound of another voice snapped Danielle back to reality, and just as the smile dropped from her face so did the photo from her hands. The wooden frame cracked against the living room floor, the glass fracturing as shards scattered across the floor.

"I'm sorry" Danielle said, tears brimming in her eyes as she bent down to the mess on the floor. Roxy raced over to Danielle as her distressed niece frantically tried to clean up the fragments of glass, her arms and hands darting round the floor as she took no time to worry about her own safety. "It's ok Dan, it was an accident" Roxy said comfortingly.

"No it's not ok, it's all my fault" Danielle cried as she carried on frantically clearing up the mess she had created. As Roxy watched Danielle, picking up the occasionally shard of glass as she tried to stay out of Danielle's hurried path, she worried whether Danielle was just talking about the broken photo.

"She hates me doesn't she?" Danielle muttered as she rocked back and forth on the sofa, Roxy by her side. "Who?" Roxy asked, not wanting to sound stupid but she wasn't sure if Danielle meant Ronnie or Peggy. "Mrs Mitchell. I mean Peggy." Danielle flustered. "You heard what she said." Danielle said despondently. "She doesn't hate you. She is just worried about Ronnie. And you" Roxy said confidently, hoping to reassure Danielle.

"What did you mean you're handling it?" Danielle asked, turning to face Roxy. Her tears may have stopped but the scars of her upset still tarnished her face. "What?" Roxy asked, confused and slightly worried by the intent look in Danielle's eye.

"You said to Mrs Mitchell 'I am handling it', when she asked about telling Ronnie, about me" Danielle's voice trailed off as she watched Roxy tense up, her words seemingly on the edge of her tongue but her aunt was awkward and silent. "Roxy?" Danielle asked again, pulling away from Roxy slightly as she started to question her aunt's actions.

"I just meant that I am looking after you that's all" Roxy replied, her voice stuttering as she struggled with her deception. She didn't want to lie to Danielle; she knew her niece was fragile and relied upon her. But if Danielle found out that she had tried to contact Ronnie, Roxy worried that it might push Danielle away for good. Even though Ronnie was still unaware about Danielle, Roxy couldn't bear to think about Ronnie or herself losing Danielle for good.

Danielle nodded and offered a small smile in acknowledgement on Roxy's answer, relieved that the idea of Ronnie returning could be naively pushed to the back of her mind once again. As Roxy played over the deception and plague of guilt now engulfing her she realised how few people Danielle had to rely on.

Danielle did rely on her; she now solely relied upon Roxy. Her adoptive family were not around; an oblivious Ronnie was hundreds of miles away and Danielle's relationship with Peggy had got off to a shaky start. "Why don't you phone up Stacey, she if she wants to come over? I'm sure she would be pleased to see you" Roxy blurted out as she got lost in her train of thought.

Roxy hoped that Danielle hadn't felt like she was palming her off but to Roxy's relief Danielle seemed to like the idea. A small smile spread across Danielle's face. "Ok, but are you sure Mrs Mitchell wouldn't mind Stacey coming over?" Danielle questioned nervously. "Aunty Peg will be fine with it, I will go have a word now" Roxy said, jumping up from the sofa as she left Danielle to contact Stacey. "I better go and pick up the sprouts as well, don't want Aunty Peg doing her back in because she slipped on one of them" Roxy said cheekily, winking at Danielle as she left the room.

Stacey had felt the vibration of her phone in her pocket, alerting her too someone's cry for her attention. Stacey's sighed as she thought of Big Mo asking her to pick up the latest delivery from Fat Elvis or her mum phoning to tell her for the fifth time today that they were having sausage surprise for dinner. Stacey hesitantly lifted the phone from her pocket, looking at the screen she was shocked and pleased to see Danielle's name flashing across the screen.

"Dan" Stacey blurted out as she hurriedly answered the call. "Hey Stace" Danielle replied, comforted by the familiar voice at the end of the line. "I havn't heard from you in ages, where are you?" Stacey asked, concerned for Danielle's welfare. "Look up" Danielle said. Puzzled Stacey's eyes travelled from the Queen Vic doors and towards the upstairs window, where she was greeted by the smiling face of Danielle waving enthusiastically. "Well I was going to ask if Roxy came to see you but" Stacey said jokingly, smiling back at Danielle. "Why don't you come up and I will explain everything" Danielle said, hanging up the phone as she looked forward to a long awaited chat with her best friend.

Danielle watched as Stacey called someone on her phone and after a few minutes she watched Mo arrive at the stall, clearly not impressed by being dragged into covering for her. Danielle collapsed back onto the sofa, smiling to herself. Roxy was brilliant, she was funny and friendly and she was taking care of her, Roxy was the perfect aunt. Stacey was coming up and hadn't said a single bad thing about the wedding or what had happened. She was treating her just like normal, just like Danielle needed.

"I didn't know you were here! How long have you been back? Why didn't you tell me?" Danielle laughed as Stacey panted out her words, most likely having run up the stairs, probably more to avoid the Mitchells than to actually get there quickly. Stacey grabbed Danielle the minute she stood up and pulled her into a hug. "Sorry Stace, it's all just been a bit hectic. Roxy came to Telford to pick me up a few days ago. I've just been getting to know her and playing with Amy and settling in here." She flopped herself back onto the sofa watching Stacey do the same, clearly having no problem with making herself at home at the Mitchells' despite her frosty attitude towards them.

"Yeah but you could've called. I didn't even know you were coming back. You didn't answer any of my calls since you left." Stacey half admonished and half joked at Danielle, nudging her as she spoke. "Sorry Stace. I didn't really think about any of it. She just showed up and I just got in the car and left." She smiled as Stacey rolled her eyes.

"So what's it like living in this place then? Get any free drinks out of it yet?" Stacey grinned at Danielle after she scanned her eyes critically over the room. Danielle started telling Stacey about her chats with Roxy, helping out with Amy and the family meal that she had so recently run from. They laughed and joked as Stacey went and helped herself to a few drinks from the tray at the end of the room. It was just like Danielle had never left, although it had only been a few days, it felt like and entire lifetime. Danielle had expected everything to have changed, everything to be ruined.

"Aunty Peg where's the washing? All my underwear was in that load…I'm having to go without." Roxy's voice screeched from out in the hallway. Danielle and Stacey looked at each other, pulling faces before busting out into fits of laughter.

"I don't know how you can do it Dan, they must be doing your head in." Stacey said as she recovered from her amusement at Roxy's latest outburst of more information than any of them needed to know. The pair chatted and joked, Stacey telling Dan about all of the news and gossip that she'd missed in the last few days. There wasn't really much to cover since almost all of the gossip in the Square had been about her and Ronnie but Mo was still creating enough of her own drama for Stacey to share with Danielle, not to mention Jean and also Charlie's trouble with his girlfriend. By the time Stacey had filled Danielle in on every detail and Danielle had in turn, shared with Stacey what had happened since she left the Square, afternoon was approaching evening.

"I can't leave Nan on her own much longer. Need to pack up the stall. Dan…you've still got a job there you know." Stacey spoke embarrassedly, she felt guilty for all the things she had put Danielle through, all the fights they'd had. "So come on you lazy cow. Come and help me pack up…unless you'd rather help Roxy Mitchell on her knicker-hunt that is."

"No. I, uh…" Danielle searched her mind for excuses she could make to not have to go outside. "Come on Dan. You can't still have a job if you never work. Help pack up, then we can have a night out. It's been ages. Can go to R&R or head up west for the night." Danielle ducked her head. The thought of setting foot even downstairs was enough to make her feel sick. "Really Stace, I can't. Not today. Why don't you come back up here? I can see if Rox can fix us up for some free drinks from the Vic. And we can go out another night?" Stacey reluctantly agreed to Danielle's requests and left for the stall. As she walked out into the hallway she was caught by a flustered looking Roxy. By the expression she was sporting it seemed as if she was no closer to finding her missing under garments. Stacey looked slightly sarcastically at her.

"How was she Stacey?" Roxy asked as she grabbed Stacey's wrist into her hand. Stacey shook it off replying that Danielle was fine. She grew suspicious and both women began to question each other about Danielle. Roxy ended up admitting how anxious Danielle was about Ronnie and about people in general. Stacey responded, saying that Danielle was happy and cheerful, so Roxy was obviously doing something right, although she was reluctant to admit it. But she told Roxy about Danielle's refusal to help her with the stall or go out. The two women agreed that Stacey would come back, the three of them would have some drinks and then they would take Danielle to the first step of getting her back to normal, drinks in the Vic. Not exactly a monumental occasion, but a step in the right direction they both hoped.


	19. Chapter 19

The three of them had enjoyed a couple of drinks upstairs in private beforehand, the awkward silence that first engulfed them soon passed as the drink an banter started flowing. Stacey had never been keen on socialising with Roxy or any other Mitchell apart from Danielle but as she sat and watched the two interact she was pleased to see how happy Danielle was around Roxy; smiling, relaxed and chatty. As Danielle looked over at Stacey she would force a wide smile across her face; Danielle needed her best friend and Stacey was determined to put her personal feelings and worry aside to help and support her.

The locals have gathered; keen to wash away a hard day's work or just gossip about the latest goings on in Albert Square. The bustling atmosphere daunted Danielle; she could hear the voices getting louder and louder as she walked down the stairs. Despite her heart rate quickening with each step Danielle found the strength to keep going, knowing that Roxy was only one step in front and Stacey on step behind.

After a momentary pause Danielle had followed Roxy out into bar, Stacey close behind them. A few faces turned to look at them but rather than judgemental glares and whispers the three of them were greeted by the occasional smile and nod, most turning away uninterested. Danielle wondered for a moment whether something else had happened, whilst she had locked herself away upstairs had the locals found something else to gossip about? But as Roxy poured them all a drink Danielle relaxed, her heart rate slowed and she even managed a small smile when Patrick said it was nice to see her back. They may have only stayed downstairs for a few drinks, lounged on the sofas as people bustled past them but Danielle felt content and for the first time since her return, Walford felt like her home again.

"How about it then Dan, I want to treat my favourite niece" Roxy beamed as cleaned away the lunch dishes from the table. "I'm your only niece!" Danielle replied jokingly. "Yeah but your still me favourite" Roxy squeaked in her baby voice, squashing Danielle's cheeks playfully with her fingers. "Ok, Ok" Danielle laughed as she pulled away from Roxy. "Good, I knew you would come round. No Mitchell girl can turn down a chance to shop. I will just get Amy ready and then we can go" Roxy said as she hurried out of the kitchen.

Danielle was not completely sure about venturing outside for the first time since she returned to Walford, she may have managed to get through drinks downstairs in the Vic but Roxy was talking about shopping on Oxford Street, the crowds and noise where a lot more to deal with. But Danielle was strangely comforted by the thought that they were only strangers, they didn't know about the pain she carried around with her or what she had done at the wedding.

They had been scuttling around Oxford Street for nearly an hour, diving in and out of shops as something in the window caught Roxy's eye. "Where did you get that?" Danielle asked, sarcastically rolling her eyes at Roxy as she rifled through her purse to dig out a credit card. "Jack gave it to me" Roxy replied with a cheeky glint in her eyes. "And he gave it to you for high heels and designer bags?" Danielle asked jokingly. "The important thing was that he gave it to me to use as I saw necessary" Roxy replied, a wide smile across her face as she cast her eyes over another shelf of shoes.

"You sound just like..." Roxy said instinctively. But she immediately stopped herself, her happy tone fading away instantly as she felt her name slipping of her tongue. "Well you sound just like Aunty Peg, she always moans that we never have another storage space for the amount of shoes I bring home" Roxy tried to joke and move the conversation on. She looked up at Danielle, expecting to see her upset once more because of her big mouth. Roxy kicked herself for being so insensitive, opening her mouth before she thought had always been her problem, even with people she loved and cared about.

But to her surprise, there was no tears instead Danielle was standing before her with a pair of stilettos in her hands. Roxy could see that her comment hadn't gone unheard by Danielle, her niece was tense and awkward, her shields ready to go up at any second. But Roxy was just pleased that her slip of the tongue hadn't done more obvious damage. "How about these?" Danielle asked, clearly trying to move the conversation on herself.

Roxy looked from the gorgeous pair of shoes to her niece. "They are gorgeous, I'm sure Jack wouldn't mind" Roxy said cheekily, waving the card in front of their faces. Danielle managed a weak smile before Roxy dragged her to the till to pay, clearly keen to keep moving.

Danielle wasn't sure whether she wanted to giggle with laughter or moan when Roxy was once again easily attracted by a shop window. "C'mon Dan" Roxy said enthusiastically as she turned Amy's buggy sharply into Ann Summers. "Can you look after her for a minute" Roxy said, gesturing for Danielle to take the buggy handles as she darted to the back of the store. "But Rox, I...." Danielle started to say but Roxy had already left her standing in the middle of the shop floor, Amy fidgeting uncomfortably in her buggy.

Danielle had awkwardly pushed Amy's buggy and hid in the corner of the store, surrounding by shelves of skimpy underwear. She always felt embarrassed in the store, worried that someone she recognised would walk past and see her. Danielle tried to look busy when she saw a store owner looking over so she pretended to look through a rack of bras hanging by her head.

"Dan, come and look at this" Danielle heard Roxy's eager voice calling so she made her way across the store with Amy in her buggy. She made her way round a tall shelf of explicit DVDs to find Roxy posing in front of mirror pouting, holding a PVC nurse's outfit in front of her body. "What do you think?" Roxy said, turning to look at Danielle. For a second Danielle wondered whether Roxy was being serious before she uncontrollably burst into fits of laughter. "Oi, it's not that bad!" Roxy said, playfully pushing Danielle on the arm.

"You want anything?" Roxy asked as she made her way round the shelves, adding to the pile of underwear draped over her arms. Danielle was sure that she saw the nurses' outfit hidden under lace corsets hanging on Roxy's arm. "No I think I'm ok thanks" Danielle replied instantly, a smirk on her face as Roxy made her way to the counter.

As the cashier asked for payment for the near hundred pounds that Roxy had spent in store Roxy once again pulled out the credit card from her purse. She saw Danielle looking at her. "What, Jack would want the mother of his child to look nice" Roxy joked as she punched in the pin numbers into the card terminal. "I didn't say anything" Danielle joked as she took the handles of Amy's buggy and headed out the store, followed by Roxy dragging several bags on her arms.

"How much do you think you spent?" Danielle asked as she looked back at the piles of bags. "Jack will be fine with it, stop worrying." Roxy replied as she pulled up her Jeep outside the Vic. As Roxy jumped out the driver seat she caught a glimpse of Jack strolling towards the Vic. "Why don't you take the bags inside Danielle. I will bring Amy up and see you in a minute" Roxy said hurriedly as she started to drag the bags out of the car and pile them onto Danielle.

Whilst Roxy pushed a bemused Danielle and the bags through the doors of the Vic she was relieved to see Jack smiling happily as he approached her. "Hey, how's my favourite girl?" Jack asked. "I'm fine thanks, and Amy is ok too!" Roxy joked, unintentionally flirting as she beamed up at Jack. Jack managed to laugh at Roxy's attempt at humour before turning to Amy, who was strapped into her car seat. "Hello, gorgeous. What have you and mummy been up to then?" Jack squeaked at his daughter as he playfully poked her nose.

"Nothing" Roxy snapped. Jack looked up at Roxy, surprised by her sudden response. Looking guilty Roxy forced a smile across her face. "I mean not much, just popped into town to meet a friend" Roxy replied. But Jack wasn't listening to Roxy, instead he had turned back to stare lovingly at his daughter.

"Have you heard from Ronnie?" Jack asked. "No I haven't Jack, I still working stuff out with....Well I'm still working stuff out" Roxy replied, keen for Jack not to get involved in the already complex and delicate situation. "C'mon sweetie, let's get you upstairs" Roxy said, quickly un-strapping Amy from her seat before carrying her towards the Vic doors. Without looking back Roxy walked away from Jack. "Bye then" He muttered, disgruntled by Roxy's sudden change in attitude towards him.

Roxy was rummaging through the endless piles of shopping bags spread across the lounge floor as Danielle changed and put Amy to bed in the next room. As she lifted a large purple paper bag onto the coffee table she heard a small thud as Danielle's handbag fell to the floor, items spilling out onto the carpet.

Roxy bent down to put everything back, including Danielle's phone and a small selection of make-up when she noticed a small folded piece of paper and a silver glint out of the corner of her eye. Lying next to the table leg on the floor was Danielle's locket and the photograph of Ronnie and Roxy behind the bar that she had found before in Danielle's possession.

After everything that had happened, all the accusations and emotional outpourings, Roxy didn't think that Danielle would carry around reminders of a person she seemed so desperate to avoid and forget. Looking at the photo Roxy was reminded that with Ronnie gone, not only was her relationship with Danielle lost but also Roxy's close bond with her sister.

After looking at the smiling faces of her and Ronnie in the picture Roxy couldn't stop thinking about Ronnie; however much she tried to get lost in the bags of shopping spread around her. Listening out Roxy checked that Danielle was not close by before pulling out her phone from her pocket. Scrolling down to Ronnie's number, Roxy immediately pressed call, if she paused even for a second to think about the negative consequences Roxy knew she would lose the courage to call her sister.

Roxy listened to the dial tone, sighing as she expected the tone to trail out onto Ronnie's answer phone once again. But just as Roxy was giving up hope she heard a quiet voice, a whispered answer on the other end of the line. "Ronnie?" Roxy asked, confused as heard noise in the background. "Roxy?" The voice asked, this time more clear and pronounced. Both Ronnie and Roxy were shocked to hear the other's voice, both waited for the other to speak first.


	20. Chapter 20

"Ronnie?" The voice down the phone sounded surprised, bordering on shocked. "Roxy?" Ronnie replied.

Silently Ronnie cursed herself for having answered the phone. She hadn't even looked at who was calling, she'd expected a call from Steve, the manager of the club where she was working for the time, so she had picked up the phone expecting to hear his voice, expecting to have the awkward exchange of the morning after the night before.

"Ron look I know you asked me not to call you but I had to and you can yell at me or whatever but Ronnie you can't just ignore me. I'm worried about you." Ronnie held the phone slightly away from her ear as Roxy poured her words out on a single breath. "I don't even know where you are." Ronnie took a sip from the drink next to her, stretching her bare legs out along the beach. "I'm just away for a while. What does it matter to you where I am anyway?" Ronnie retorted defensively. She was distracted by a little girl in a pink swimming costume who was busy making a sandcastle, somehow managing to fling the sand she was digging, several feet backwards to land on Ronnie's legs.

"What's all this about Rox?" Ronnie asked, sighing as she watched the clumps of sand slowly winging towards her and piling up on her leg. "Things have been happening back here Ron. Things you really need to know about. Things I can't tell you over the phone." She could hear Roxy's voice, tensed and nervous. Her interest peaked slightly. Roxy would normally yell or whine or demand to be forgiven. "Why? What have you done this time?" She was cuttingly mocking, but there was a humour and amusement that she couldn't deny as she realised that Roxy was actually being meek. Perhaps some time away really had done her some good. She still wasn't ready to see Roxy but speaking to her wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be.

"You know I'm sick of everyone assuming I'm the one making problems. Why does it have to be me that's done something?" Ronnie could hear Roxy's huff even down the phoneline. She felt herself smile slightly. "Usually because it is," Ronnie scoffed, smiling as the little girl near her gave her a gap-toothed grin. She heard Roxy gasping slightly and could just picture her affronted expression and the cheeky grin that usually followed. But Ronnie started to realise that things were actually serious when Roxy remained nervous and offended and there was no hint of cheekiness or laughter on the line. "I'm the one sorting everything here. You should all be thanking me! But no. Aunty Peg's on my back and Da…" Ronnie frowned as she heard Roxy suddenly cut herself off and sit silently on the line. Ronnie tried to work out what she had been about to say, usually if Roxy was hiding something, it wasn't good. Actually, it was _never_ good if Roxy was hiding something. Ronnie stiffened as she remembered the things Roxy had kept from her, the ways she had hurt her.

"Oh for god's sake Roxy what's going on. This obviously wasn't a social call so why don't you just tell me what this is all about." She snapped, pulling her sunglasses off and sitting up more, becoming slightly annoyed at Roxy ruining her day. Her sharp tone and shouting earned her a dirty look from the mother of the little girl. She returned it willingly.

"Ronnie I miss you," Roxy's voice whined, "and we need you here. I'm telling you that stuff is happening here and you need to come home." Ronnie began to feel annoyed at Roxy's elusion, she was being purposely vague and it was unnerving and frustrating.

"Oh what is this?" She snapped, reaching the end of her tether with this call. "You got yourself into another mess?" She let her voice take on a patronising tone. "Well you know what, you're going to have to learn to get out of it yourself." She was truly tired. Roxy could have chatted, could have gossiped like normal. But no, as always the little princess expected Ronnie to bail her out of whatever she had got herself stuck into and in return what did Ronnie get? Betrayal, abuse, resentment. Ronnie shifted uncomfortably. What was a comfortable laze on the beach was now itchy sand beneath her, sun that was too hot, a stupid cocktail that wasn't anywhere near strong enough.

"No, you aren't listening." Roxy shouted. Ronnie could almost see her little sister's hands flying around in annoyance. "This isn't even about me. I'm busy sorting out your little mess here." Roxy's voice got more aggressive as she continued but Ronnie cut in, "_My_ mess? What are you on about?"

"Ah," Roxy's frustrated screech rang through the phone and Ronnie held it away from her ear slightly as the blast of noise hit her, "I told you, I can't tell you over the phone. It wouldn't be fair, not on you and not on…"

"On who? Is this about Jack?" Ronnie shot out her accusation, staring out into the sea, suddenly feeling that the few people near her on the beach were crowding her.

"No, it's not about Jack." Roxy huffed. "Ron, please. Please just come home. We need you," Ronnie could hear Roxy's voice cracking, she could hear her little sister breaking into tears, "I'm doing the best I can but it's not me that's needed here." Ronnie listened to the shaky breaths that filled the silence, "Just for the day even, just one day, if you don't want to be here after even one hour then you can leave again but we need you, she…" Roxy's voice suddenly cut off and a gasp replaced the sound. Ronnie pressed the phone closer to her ear as she heard another voice. She couldn't work out who it was. Her first thought was Jack but the voice was female.

"Uh, I've got to go. Just…" Roxy was suddenly back on the phone, clearly panicked and uncomfortable. Her voice shrank away again as she spoke to whoever it was she was with, "Gimme one sec babe, yeah?"

Ronnie picked up her drink and swirled it around in the glass. This was definitely not the conversation she imagined she would have with her sister. Roxy came back and began to whisper hurriedly down the phone. "Ronnie please, just come home. Please. I love you, bye." And she was gone.

Ronnie stared at the phone for a few seconds. She kicked the sand angrily with her foot, instantly regretting it when the wind blew the burst of grains into her face. She hunched her legs up to her chest. Why was Roxy so desperate for her to come home? Despite everything, despite all the anger, the thought of Roxy so upset and possibly in trouble still scared Ronnie, it still clutched at her heart. Roxy would always be her little girl, the closest she had.

It took Ronnie hours to force herself from the beach. She had spent so long deliberating over Roxy's words, the option of staying or going home. She had picked through their conversation, trying to work out what was happening, what had made Roxy so upset. In the end she had consumed several cocktails, put her headphones into her ears and sunbathed, trying to put off having to make a decision.

She made her way down to her apartment that she was renting. It was a nice area of the island. Far away enough from the main club scene to be quite quiet but still had enough tourism and clubs for her to be able to work for a while whilst she was there. People were beginning to make their way back from the beaches and out to the restaurants near by. A group of teenage girls were sat giggling in a café that Ronnie passed. A blonde girl caught her eye, she had the same cheekbones, the same eyes as Ronnie. She was the right age, her baby could have been in that group. Ronnie herself could be there in Ibiza, taking her daughter out to the clubs, lazing on the beach with cocktails like she and Roxy had done so often. She could have built sandcastles with her baby when she was little, there was so much she had missed out on. She missed it all. Once again Danielle's words came back into her mind, _"I'm her, I'm Amy, I'm_ your _Amy." _She looked quickly away from the smiling teenagers and walked onwards to her apartment complex. _"You're my mother. You are."_

Letting herself into the cool sanctuary of her rented apartment she moved to the fridge, making herself a quick dinner and plying herself with some wine before she had to go to the club. It was lonely. Solitary dinners, the only company she had was the man she would go home with each night, always different, always a mistake but it was someone to lose herself in. Roxy and Jack were constantly on her mind and to Ronnie's infuriation, so was Danielle. Her words just wouldn't go. For the smallest of seconds Ronnie had believed her claims and for building that hope only to shoot it down, Ronnie would never forgive her. Never.


	21. Chapter 21

As the morning glare broke through the curtains Danielle held off the yawns, instead focussing her attention on Amy who was bouncing happily on her knee. Danielle couldn't understand how Amy was so lively so early in the morning, especially after a restless night of screaming that had kept the whole of the Vic awake.

Once the clock had hit 7am, Amy's screams once again piercing through the thin walls, Danielle had given in. She had wiped on a dressing gown and gone to check on her young niece. Careful not to wake Roxy Danielle lifted Amy from her crib. She glanced over at Roxy who was tossing and turning, clearly trying to sleep through the endless crying of her daughter. But Danielle was sure she could see something else playing on Roxy's mind, even in sleep she seemed agitated and restless, muttering a string of words together that made little sense to Danielle. Keen for Roxy to even get a couple of hours peaceful sleep Danielle left with Amy in her arms.

"You love the attention don't you, that's the only reason you cry isn't it? You like being the centre of attention. You're going to grow up and be a little actress." Danielle beamed at Amy. As Danielle spoke softly to her niece Roxy entered the lounge, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she struggled with the bright morning sun.

"Yes you are, a little actress, then you can be in films and impress your mummy." Danielle continued, unaware of Roxy's presence. "What are turn out like one of those messed up stars? I don't think so." Roxy joked, making Danielle jump slightly as Roxy bent over the back of the sofa, greeting her niece and daughter with a warm smile.

"Aww you wouldn't do anything silly would you Amy? No. You'd be great and you could bring home lots of actor men for mummy." Danielle joked, playfully poking Amy's nose. "Now, that is a plan I can get on board with!" Roxy beamed, now happily laughing with Danielle. With a smile on her face and sparkle in her eyes Amy joined in, letting out a small giggle that left Danielle and Roxy speechless.

"Did she just laugh?" Danielle asked, still a bit unsure on the brief sound Amy had just made. "Yeah I think she did, her first little giggle" Roxy said proudly. An excited Roxy moved round to perch on the arm of the sofa, cooing over Amy before sliding herself to squash in the tiny space between Danielle and the arm of the sofa.

Bunched tightly together Roxy couldn't help but fuss over Amy who was nestled in Danielle's arms. Both women were engrossed in the young Mitchell, desperate to hear the sweet little giggle again. "How about me and you have a girlie day today, we could head to the park and get ice-creams?" Roxy asked spontaneously, hoping to get some time alone to talk to Danielle. The conversation with Ronnie was still playing on her mind and was keen to try and get Danielle to open up about her mother.

Even though Ronnie had sounded extremely annoyed and reluctant to return on the phone Roxy realised that the abrupt end to their conversation left things up in the air, she didn't know whether Ronnie was considering returning and the last thing anyone needed was for Ronnie to turn up in Walford unannounced.

"I don't know Rox" Danielle replied hesitantly. "Come on Dan, I can get Peggy to baby-sit Amy and you never know, I might even treat you to a flake with your ice-cream" Roxy said jokily, hoping that her cheeky grin was reassurance enough. "Ok then, you've twisted my arm" Danielle responded after a moment's hesitation. "Great, I will go and get changed, let Peggy know and then we can head off" Roxy said, bounding out of the room happily. Although she was nervous about the prospect of going outside and facing the locals, she felt calmer knowing Roxy was going to be by her side.

The spring breeze glanced her cheek as the doors of the Vic flew open, revealing the streets of Albert Square. Taking one step at a time down the market, Danielle had never imagined such a simple task could be so hard. She held Roxy's hand tightly; each step made her heart beat faster as they moved further and further away from the place Danielle now called home.

As they walked she tried to convince herself she was being ridiculous. She had gone outside before, she had faced the locals before but now it seemed different, the prospect even more frightening. When she had gone shopping down Oxford Street with Roxy the strangers passing in the street didn't know her, they didn't know what secrets were weighing down. She could drift into the crowd and no one knew she was Danielle Jones.

When she ventured downstairs for drinks with Stacey and Roxy, even though she had felt more confident than she had in weeks, the security of running upstairs away from the possibility of the whispers and glares always sat above her head. Through all these situations the only constant was Roxy; she was always by her side. Danielle couldn't imagine life in Walford, life anywhere without her now.

"You hold my hand any tighter and it will drop off" Roxy joked as they made their way through the morning crowds. "Sorry" Danielle muttered, loosening her grip but still keeping contact. "You know no one is whispering Dan, things have moved on. Apparently Bianca and Ricky had a massive fight in the café yesterday, food flying everywhere" Roxy joked, a cheeky grin on her face as she enjoyed telling Danielle about the comical miss-fortune of others. "Oi Roxy, wait up!" A familiar voice called, both women turned to see Christian jogging towards them, wearing a pair of shorts quite obviously a size too small and a sweaty tank top. "Hey babe, I haven't seen you in ages" He said, leaning into hug Roxy before she pulled a funny face and leaned away from the approach of his sweaty chest.

"Yeah sorry I have had a lot on" Roxy tried to say subtly, hoping that Danielle didn't feel uncomfortable. She wanted to tell Christian the truth, sometimes she felt like shouting out the truth from the rooftops but she didn't want to upset Danielle, they were making progress and one wrong move could push her over the edge. "Hey babe" Christian said warmly, smiling to acknowledge Danielle's presence.

"So spill, what happened yesterday with Bianca and Ricky?" Roxy asked eagerly. "Well I am not really sure, I got back from the wholesalers with Ian and the next thing I know a bacon sandwich is flying past my head. Bianca was on a right rant though, worse than normal. She's got a face like thunder this morning, in a foul mood. Ian isn't much better" Christian said, smiling and laughing as he re-told the story.

"Well I better be off, this six-pack doesn't come cheap" Christian said, winking cheekily as he lifted up the bottom of his tank top. "Bye ladies" He called as he jogged off, leaving Danielle and Roxy to gossip further on their way to the park.

"Chocolate or strawberry? No wait let me guess" Roxy said quickly, not giving Danielle a chance to speak, instead she laughed as Roxy pulled a range of funny expressions. "Straw…" Roxy hesitated, watching as Danielle began to slowly shake her head. "Chocolate, I knew it!" Roxy shouted happily, "My favourite too" And Ronnie's, she thought.

Roxy eventually turned to face the gentleman standing, ready to serve. "You finally decided miss?" He said sarcastically. "Two chocolate ice creams with two flakes please" Roxy replied, handing over the coins. "A smile wouldn't go a miss either" Roxy returned with her own sarcastic comment, walking away with Danielle as the man grunted loudly.

"Thanks for taking Amy this morning, little madam kept me up all night" Roxy rolled her eyes as she took another bite of her chocolate flake, struggling to catch the crumbs of flake that dropped into her lap. "Me too" Danielle replied, giggling as she watched Roxy try to keep her balance on the bench whilst trying to catch the bits of flake in her mouth.

"Sorry about that, she has got a set of lungs on her that girl. I just can't imagine where from" Roxy said jokingly, joining in with Danielle as the pair laughed together loudly. "But seriously Dan, you don't mind living in the Vic do you? I know with Amy crying, Phil's shouting and not to mention Aunty Peggy's nagging. It can get a bit much sometime" Roxy said.

She enjoyed laughing and joking with Danielle, seeing the smile spread across her niece's face reminded Roxy of why she was doing what she was doing but she also knew her family. A family lunch could be stressful, so living in a cramped flat together could drive anyone mad.

"Its fine, I really like it actually. Makes me feel like a proper Mitchell" Danielle beamed as she licked her ice-cream. "And Phil is not that bad, I have learnt to ignore him when he shouts" She joked. "What was he like as a kid?" Danielle asked. Roxy was slightly taken aback by Danielle asking about Phil, she understood that Danielle would be interested in her family's history so Roxy tried to remember what she could. "Well he was kind of like he is now, except not bald obviously" Roxy added, making Danielle laugh.

"Him and his brother, Grant used to be a right pair. Me and Ronnie would come round and visit and they would always be fighting about something; who got to play with toy or when they were older they would be fighting over some girl from school. I never understood why they fought over the same girl" Roxy commented, not realising what she had said till she caught a glimpse of Danielle's raised eyebrows and sarcastic expression. "It's not that same, it's complicated with me and Ronnie" Roxy realised, as she said her sister's name for the second time in a matter of minutes, Danielle hadn't tensed up or changed the conversation. "Do you mind me talking about her?" Roxy asked nervously, not wanting to make Danielle feel uncomfortable.

"I just want to get to know my family, I want to get to know you" Danielle said firmly, playfully nudging Roxy's shoulder. Roxy noticed the extra emphasis Danielle had put on the word you, she may have wanted to get to know her family but with Ronnie not around, Roxy wondered whether Danielle's vision of her family included Ronnie.

"Well it's always been complicated between me and Ronnie. She has always been there for me, through everything and when our mother left she looked out for me. She was more like a mum than a big sister" Roxy said, the words rolling off her tongue. Whilst she wanted to heap praise on Ronnie, paint the picture of a perfect sister who loved and cared for her unconditionally, she knew she had to tread carefully around Danielle.

Danielle tensed up, Roxy words striking her like a punch to the stomach. Ronnie choose to mother her sister instead of her but at the same time she was strangely comforted by the idea that Ronnie could care and love for someone else, feelings she had longed to see for herself from Ronnie. Roxy immediately noticed Danielle beginning to coil away, the warning signs that she had learnt to recognise over recent weeks.

"I never meant to hurt her with Jack, things just spiralled out of control and it kills me when I see that look in her eyes, when she is looking at me, at Amy. It's the look that's says she will never quite forget or forgive me for what I did" Roxy didn't know why she had started rambling on about her and Jack but she still carried round the guilt with her. Danielle had been through enough and if she wanted to know about her family, then she deserved to know the truth, however hurtful and confusing it might be.

"Why did you do it Rox, why did you sleep with Jack?" Danielle asked. She wasn't sure why she was asking or even if she wanted to know the answer but she desperately wanted to try and understand. She had heard the rumours and the gossip from Stacey and Mo but she wanted to hear the truth, the truth about her family.

"I can't explain. I have spent months trying to explain; to Ronnie, to Christian, to everyone but I don't want to make excuses for what I did. I made the biggest mistake of my life but I wouldn't change what happened for the world, because now I have Amy" Roxy beamed happily, sighing heavily as she finished speaking. She hadn't planned to open up to Danielle but she felt at ease with her niece.

"You must have fought with Gareth though?" Roxy asked, changing the subject in the hope Danielle would open up. "You remembered his name" Danielle muttered, slightly surprised. "Yeah of course I did babe, you spoke about him once and he seemed really important to you" Roxy replied, not thinking anything of it. Danielle smiled warmly at Roxy in reply, it may have been something trivial but she was touched that Roxy had recognised how important he was too her.

"Well yeah we fought quite a lot, just stupid brother and sister stuff. He could get really bossy sometimes, start ordering me about but underneath it all he was, still is, a big softy. He was always very protective over me, especially after mum died" Danielle muttered the last few words, the pain of mentioning Lizzie's death made her struggle with her speech.

"What was she like?" Roxy asked nervously, yet again her mouth had moved before she had a chance to think about what she had said. She could see the flash of pain in her eyes yet Danielle began to talk slowly. "She was perfect. Caring, warm. She loved me and Gareth more than anything in the world but I know she would want me to be happy" Danielle tried to stay strong, wiping away the tears brimming in her eyes with her free hand before she placed it down onto the bench. Roxy gently placed her hand on top of Danielle's.


	22. Chapter 22

A small smirk grew across Danielle's face, a quiet giggle to herself when she noticed ice cream dribbling from both corners' of Roxy's mouth. Oblivious to Danielle's amusement Roxy continued to lick the ice cream until she noticed her niece. "You got a little" Danielle said, gesturing towards Roxy's chin. Dabbing her fingers against her skin, Roxy quickly wiped away the mess. "You could have told me sooner" Roxy jokes, managing to find the funny side of it after moving past the embarrassment.

Roxy seized on Danielle's apparent good mood. "Look Dan, I was hoping we good have a chat. That's why I thought we'd come to the park" Roxy started cautiously, surveying how Danielle reacted to each word. "And here was me thinking you had come just to admire the scenery" Danielle replied sarcastically. She had known from the moment that Roxy had suggested the impromptu visit that her aunt had an ulterior motive, something along with the idea of facing the prying eyes that worried her. "I know you don't like talking about it, about her but Dan, Ronnie is your mum. You can't forget that" Roxy continued, her vice nervous as all of the usual Roxy Mitchell confidence drained away in the face of an increasingly edgy Danielle.

"You think I can forget, forget what she did, what she said!" Danielle shot back angrily. "There's things you don't understand Dan" Roxy said, trying to calm the situation down as Danielle became animated. "Go on then, tell me" Danielle insisted. "It's not my place to tell," Roxy sighed, she didn't dare try in case she said the wrong thing and pushed Danielle away further, broke the pair beyond repair. "You need to speak to Ronnie" Roxy muttered, knowing full well that her answer would only make things worse. But she owed it to Ronnie not to let every dark secret come tumbling out in the middle of a busy public park; both Ronnie and Danielle deserved to hear the truth from the person it mattered to the most - each other.

"She's your mum Danielle, your mum. That's still got to mean something, even if it's just telling her the truth." Roxy saw Danielle's mouth begin to open as she was obviously ready to state that she in fact had already told Ronnie, it was Ronnie's choice not to believe her. Roxy knew it was coming and so chose to continue speaking, not give Danielle the chance to get it in. "You came to find her for a reason yeah? And you stuck around for almost a year. That reason's still there…somewhere. You can't just pretend it's not." Roxy edged, trying to coax Danielle but the only reaction she got was a sniff as Danielle resolutely looked away, refusing to catch her eye.

"You have to talk to her," Roxy tried again.

"Well I can't can I" Danielle shot back, an underlying anger and resentment seeping from her words. Roxy started to become annoyed that despite all her efforts she was having the exact same conversation with Danielle that she'd had with Ronnie. Danielle mirrored her mother's defensive and sharp attitude, the guard going up when Roxy thought she had once again made some progress with Danielle. They were so sickeningly alike that it was tempting to just bang their heads together and tell them to sort it out.

Hurt and angered Danielle stepped back from the bench and Roxy. She didn't need this; she didn't need the pain and sorrow to be dragged back up again. Her only instinct was to run, run away. As she did so Roxy desperately called out to her. "She never stopped loving you!" Her voice seemed to lift above the blanket of noise from the locals playing in the park, Roxy's words piecing through Danielle and stopping her in her tracks. What if someone heard? Danielle couldn't deal with anymore unwanted attention. But after a moment's worry all Danielle could think about were the words that had left Roxy's lips. It was the five words she had always longed to hear yet she felt the anger still boiling inside of her.

"How could she love me? You don't give up, you don't walk away from someone you love" Danielle's eyes were locked on Roxy's, the pain and anger locked on Roxy. It wasn't love, it couldn't be. All of her life it had felt like rejection, selfishness. Danielle slowly made her way back towards Roxy. "I could hear her crying for weeks, weeks after you left…after you were taken" Roxy corrected herself. "She tried to muffle her cries into her pillow but I could hear her. Then every year on your birthday she would just stare at the locket, stare at you. She wouldn't talk to anyone, just sit all day on her bed with her locket in her hand" Roxy could see Danielle softening, the tension and anger in her face slipping away as the words sunk in.

"Just talk to her Dan, see what she has to say. She is just has hurt and upset as you," Roxy said, pleased that Danielle had joined her back on the bench. "Wait, how do you know?" Danielle asked suddenly. "What?" Roxy replied, equally confused. "How do you know she is hurt and upset?" Danielle asked again, leaning closer to an increasingly nervous Roxy.

Suddenly the mood seemed to be shifting again, an air of tension drifting between the pair again. "No, well I just meant that…" Roxy stuttered. "Well…she doesn't even know she's your mum. And she needs to. She's been falling apart and…"

"Have you spoken to her?" Danielle angrily asked, jumping off the bench but staying within inches of Roxy. "Have you been talking to her? Have you told her? Have you spoken to her?" Danielle's accusations would have been frightening, she looked so much like Ronnie but her trembling killed any intimidation she might have held.

"Look Dan, I…." Roxy began to say, ready to real off an excuse and an apology but Roxy stopped speaking abruptly when she noticed Danielle beginning to breath heavily, her limbs shaking and the colour draining from her face rapidly. Roxy recognized the symptoms, recognized the developing situation. "You lied to me!" Danielle cried, she didn't care who could hear her anymore as her heart race quickened. "Dan, listen to me" Roxy said jumping to her feet as she tried to reach out to Danielle. But Danielle pulled back, almost jumping on the spot as the panic continued to build up uncontrollably. "You promised you wouldn't, you promised. I can't face her, I can't" Danielle screamed, violently shaking her head.

Danielle's screams were now starting to draw attention as people walking their dogs and mothers with their children passed by, taking a interested look as they went. Ian Beale's attention had been draw to the scene, his eyes and ears alert until Jane managed to drag him away and back to his son Bobby.

Danielle was manically running her fingers through her hair, tears streaming down her cheeks as the thought of facing Ronnie, facing rejection and pain became too much. "Listen to me Dan," Roxy screamed back, racing her voice for the first time in desperation. She threw her hand around Danielle's cheeks, her palms looking against Danielle's sweaty skin. "Dan, I didn't talk to her ok. I promise" Roxy said, drawing in Danielle for a comforting hug. She knew it was wrong, but what other choice did she have?

Still Danielle wasn't calming, Roxy kept holding her tightly. "Just close your eyes. I haven't spoken to her. She doesn't know ok? She doesn't even know you're hers. Just breathe alright? Come on." Roxy stroked her hand down Danielle's hair and face, holding her close and breathing in and out slowly for Danielle to follow. She felt her niece become pliable in her arms, relaxing into her. Danielle's breaths slowed and even though the shakes stayed, Roxy was pleased that she had managed to calm her so much more easily than before. She almost felt proud of herself for picking it up so quickly, taking care of her niece.

As Roxy loosened her grip on Danielle to rub her back and try and angle the half eaten cone and now badly melting ice-cream away from her hand where is was dripping. This was getting easier and yet getting harder at the same time. The longer she left it the more lies would build, the more distance, the more resentment and yet there was no chance that Roxy could bring Ronnie up again any time soon and there was definitely no way that she could tell Danielle she'd spoken to Ronnie. Not after this reaction.

They were stuck. All three of them stuck in a limbo that none was truly happy with. But the lies and avoidance were easier than working for the truth.


End file.
